This is Self-Work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

At Self-Work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them,

whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be

knowledgeable about middle health treatment, but also to those of you who might say you'd never

darken the door of a therapist. And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite

you to take a few minutes for

your own self-work. This listener can only control her half of whatever dialogue or communication

happens between her and her daughter. I'd suggest that she begin to do some letter writing

and ask a non-biased friend to read them.

But she could decide on what's most important for her to say as she writes her letters.

And there could be three or four or five repetitions of this.

Welcome to this week's edition of Self-Work.

Today we have a grab bag of questions and comments, the first about a mom who lived through

her daughter and yet also didn't offer safety or a sense of security even with the basic

things.

This listener is now sober for a year, much to her credit, and is asking about how to navigate

her relationship with her mom, who's still chaotic.

The second question is from a therapist who attended one of my workshops on perfectly hidden depression and had a great

comment to make, which I thought would be helpful to share with all of you. Our third topic is a

voicemail from an older mom who sees her daughter as blaming her without reason for things that she feels like she didn't cause.

But the mom wants to see if I have anything to offer.

...