#471 - John’s Critical Path, Elis’s 0.0% Curry and Dave’s Not So Silent Alarm

Elis James and John Robins

BBC

Comedy

4.8 • 6K Ratings

🗓️ 12 September 2025

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What starts off as a huge day for John (book deadline day) turns into a massive (massive it is) day for poor old Dave.

As the saying goes: ‘The best laid plans of podcast producers often go awry’, and Dave’s idea for the team to record remotely gets derailed quite spectacularly by a faulty alarm system. Brace yourselves for the most stressed you will probably ever hear one of the UK’s most unflappable men.

Back to John, and he tells us early on that he’s feeling ‘absolutely dreadful’. Book deadline day is taking its toll, but luckily a text from Elis’s brother-in-law lifts his spirits, as does the arrival of a record in the post for poor old stressed Dave.

There’s the start of a podcast feud with No Such Thing As A Fish, chat about successfully bartering with a supermarket, and the introduction of a new jingle that wouldn’t be out of place on Lou Reed’s Transformer.

Get in touch via the usual channels: it’s [email protected] on the email, and 07974 293 022 on the WhatsApp.

Transcript

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0:00.0	He scored goals, lifted trophies and broken records along the way.
0:05.4	And now he's got a podcast.
0:07.2	Welcome to the Wayne Rooney show.
0:09.2	Twice a week, Wayne Rooney, Kay Kerd and me, Kelly Summers,
0:12.6	break down the biggest stories in the Premier League and beyond.
0:15.6	As much as you'd like to say,
0:16.7	loyalty in football now is no existence, whether that's fun players or managers.
0:20.5	Plus, we'll hear the funniest, wildest and most outrageous stories
0:24.0	From Wayne's career
0:25.0	The Wayne Rooney Show
0:26.1	It's what everybody's talking about
0:28.1	Watch an eye player, listen on Sounds
0:30.0	BBC Sounds
0:32.6	Music, radio, podcasts Radio Podcasts. Hello, Hello everyone, and welcome to the Ellis James and John Robbins show
1:00.1	and we are coming remote.
1:03.2	We are from our three digital islands this week
1:06.6	due to train strikes in London,
1:09.3	which Dave hates.
1:10.8	Ellis is a big fan of,
1:12.1	and I think is a complex picture.
1:17.0	I was happy to cycle in.
1:19.4	That's the thing, but obviously...
	...

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