471. Coaching Hotline: Teaching Thought Work to Teens & Managing Phobias
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.6K Ratings
🗓️ 3 March 2026
⏱️ 13 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Have you ever tried to teach thought work to someone you love, only to have them completely reject it? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a question from a mom who wants her teenage son to benefit from thought work but keeps running into pushback. I explain why 15 is not too young to understand emotional processing, but it is old enough to resist being coached without permission.
I also answer a question from a listener who is struggling with a long standing fear of heights that shows up intensely on tall bridges and airplanes. If you have ever felt frustrated that you logically know something is safe but still experience panic, this will resonate. You will learn how to stop escalating anxiety by resisting it, how to work with your thoughts about panic, and how acceptance becomes the foundation for real change.
Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/471
Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
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The Future Coach Podcast is Here!
The Future Coach: How to Succeed as a Life Coach Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond is finally here. Every other week, you'll hear practical advice about becoming a coach, improving your coaching skills, and antidotes to the most common concerns, questions, and brain drama that come up with this work, whether you're just starting out or you're years into your career. If you want to find out more, you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts and hit that follow button.
The Future Coach Podcast is Here!
The Future Coach: How to Succeed as a Life Coach Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond is finally here. Every other week, you'll hear practical advice about becoming a coach, improving your coaching skills, and antidotes to the most common concerns, questions, and brain drama that come up with this work, whether you're just starting out or you're years into your career. If you want to find out more, you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts and hit that follow button.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to unfuck your brain. I'm your host Kara Lowentile, master-certified coach, and founder of the School of New Feminist Thought. I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. |
| 0:21.3 | Let's go. |
| 0:24.8 | Welcome to this week's coaching hotline episode where I answer real questions from real listeners |
| 0:31.2 | and coach you from afar. |
| 0:33.6 | If you want to submit your question for consideration, go to unfuck your brain.com forward slash |
| 0:39.5 | coaching hotline, all one word, or text your email to plus one 347-997-1784. |
| 0:48.0 | And when you get prompted for the code word, it's coaching hotline, all one word. |
| 0:52.6 | Let's get into this week's questions. Here's the first question, |
| 0:56.9 | which I think a lot of you share, so I thought it would be a good one to answer. Hi, Kara, I can see that |
| 1:02.8 | my teenage son would truly benefit from thought work. He constantly rages and blames others for his |
| 1:08.3 | feelings. However, when I talk to him about the concept of how |
| 1:11.7 | his thoughts causes feelings, or try to just get him to examine his thoughts at the download, he rebels |
| 1:16.5 | and just writes things like, this is fucking stupid. Is 15 too young to wrap your mind around |
| 1:22.0 | thought work? If not, do you have suggestions on better ways to approach him to get him to truly |
| 1:26.8 | participate? |
| 1:33.6 | Okay. So, 15 is definitely not too young. I don't think any age is too young to start teaching emotional processing and management. Now, obviously, how you teach that changes over time. With a |
| 1:39.4 | four-year-old, you might just try teaching them that it's okay to have their feeling, right? To be sad or to express it |
| 1:46.1 | rather than telling them like, don't cry or don't be upset, right? Those kinds of messages we get |
| 1:51.8 | that's not okay to our feelings. Whereas with a four-year-old, you're probably not going to be like, |
| 1:55.9 | well, your thoughts cause your feelings, right? I don't know. It depends on your four-year-old. |
| 1:59.8 | I was reading at three. |
| 2:01.4 | Maybe. But in general, I think obviously you want to vary it as your child grows up, you start |
... |
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