466: Why Focusing on Regrets Won't Help You Drink Less
Take a Break from Drinking
Rachel Hart
4.9 • 2.7K Ratings
🗓️ 28 April 2026
⏱️ 11 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
You know that feeling the morning after you drank too much? Have you ever thought to yourself, "I just don't want to feel this way again"?
Regret and guilt can feel like powerful motivators to stop drinking, but the truth is, focusing on what you don't want can actually keep you stuck in the same cycle. If you've ever promised to stop drinking after a rough night, only to repeat the same pattern, this episode is for you.
Tune in this week to understand the problem with using regret as motivation to drink less. You'll learn why identity-based motivation is a more effective approach than relying on regret, how to shift from a focus on "what you don't want" to "who you want to become," and how understanding your drink archetypes can provide the clarity and direction needed to make lasting change.
Find a personalized approach that helps you change your habit in my new book, The Ultimate Guide to Drinking Less, here: https://rachelhart.com/guide/
Discover alternative approaches to drinking less inside our membership program, Take a Break: https://rachelhart.com/tab/
Get the full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://rachelhart.com/466
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You know that feeling the morning after you drink too much when you're lying in bed and thinking to |
| 0:05.6 | yourself, oh, I'm never doing that again. And you really mean it. Maybe you even do what I used to do. |
| 0:12.7 | You list out all of your regrets, all the money wasted, the things you wish you hadn't done or said, |
| 0:19.7 | how awful you feel in that moment. And you hope that if you can |
| 0:23.5 | just hold on to those regrets, it will be the fuel that you need to never make the same mistake again. |
| 0:30.4 | This is episode 466. And today I'm talking about why focusing on your regrets never really works |
| 0:36.8 | long term. And what you need to |
| 0:39.0 | focus on instead because this was one of the most important shifts that I made in my own journey |
| 0:45.6 | and changing my own relationship with alcohol. And I don't think that people talk about this |
| 0:50.1 | nearly enough. Whether you want to drink less or stop drinking, this podcast will help you change the habit |
| 0:57.9 | from the inside out. |
| 0:59.8 | We're challenging conventional wisdom about why people drink and why it can be hard to resist |
| 1:05.0 | temptation. |
| 1:06.3 | No labels, no judgment, just practical tools to take control of your desire and stop worrying about |
| 1:13.0 | your drinking. Now, here's your host, Rachel Hart. |
| 1:21.1 | I spent years trying to change my drinking, wondering why I couldn't drink normally, why |
| 1:26.6 | sometimes I would have a couple |
| 1:28.1 | drinks and I would be fine. And other times I would wake up like, what happened last night? |
| 1:33.1 | That love-hate relationship that I had with my drinking lasted from my teenage years into my |
| 1:39.5 | early 30s. And for almost that entire period, I focused on one tool and one tool alone in order to try to |
| 1:47.5 | change. I tried to use regret as my main motivator. I would focus on the downsides of drinking |
| 1:54.1 | too much. I would make lists about everything that I hated about my drinking. I would read up |
... |
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