464 - Building Trust For The Long Haul

Pure Desire Podcast

Pure Desire Ministries

Healing, Aa, Christian Recovery, Sa, Self-improvement, Christianity, Sexuality, Celebrate Recovery, Sexual Addiction Recovery, Recovery, Porn Recovery, Health & Fitness, Religion & Spirituality, Betrayal Trauma, Porn Addiction Recovery, Biblical Recovery, Education

4.8 • 750 Ratings

🗓️ 26 May 2026

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In today’s episode, we dive into one of the most tender and complex challenges couples face after betrayal: rebuilding trust that lasts. Even when sobriety is sustained and growth is evident, many spouses still feel the hidden fear that the “other shoe” will eventually drop. Our guests, Tyler and Shari Chinchen, help us unpack why trust can remain fragile, what behaviors—often unintentional—can quietly undo months of healing, and how couples can avoid these subtle pitfalls. We’ll explore the markers of thriving couples who have restored trust over time and what practices consistently set them up for long-term stability. We also address two difficult but common experiences: when the recovering spouse feels they’ve rebuilt more than their partner recognizes, and when betrayal happens again after meaningful progress. Lastly, we discuss why trust must be rebuilt in every area of marriage, the role of group support, and what to do when trust gets stuck despite years of effort.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello there, good listener. I am your host, Nick Stumbo, and you are listening to The Pure Desire
0:09.7	podcast, your biblically based and clinically informed approach to healing from betrayal and breaking
0:15.5	free from all forms of compulsive sexual behavior. And whether today is your first day in recovery or your 10,000, we hope that these are
0:23.3	conversations that will encourage, bless, and guide you in your journey towards health
0:28.6	and recovery.
0:29.8	Today is episode 464 and here joining me as my co-host for one final time in this great
0:36.2	series is my co-host Rebecca Vandamere.
0:39.6	Rebecca, welcome back.
0:41.1	Thank you.
0:41.7	It's been an honor.
0:42.9	And as we wrap this up, this series, I just thank you for having it.
0:46.7	Yeah, hey, it's been fun having you on.
0:48.8	And I love what we've been doing, giving different staff opportunities to sit in that seed.
0:53.5	And I've really enjoyed getting to do this that seed. And I've really enjoyed getting
0:55.3	to do this with you. And I think, you know, to come back to where we were the first episode,
0:59.5	I mentioned to our audience, that you do this for a living, so to speak. You and your husband
1:04.2	Bob are on our clinical team and you're working with couples all the time. And you see them take
1:08.7	those steps of individual recovery and then they get to the marriage
1:11.7	of like how do we do new marriage because we don't just want more of the same we're not just trying
1:16.4	to get rid of a bad behavior and then go to more of the same we really want to build something
1:20.6	new and better and I hope this series has been part of that for a lot of couples yeah I truly hope so
1:26.6	and you know with most of our clients that we worked with,
	...

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