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3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

461: "I Hate You, Mom" — How to Respond When Holiday Stress Brings Big Emotions

3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

Cloud10

Kids & Family, Society & Culture, How To, Personal Journals, Education, Parenting

52.3K Ratings

🗓️ 22 December 2025

⏱️ 31 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It's mid-December, everyone's running on fumes, and your child just screamed "I hate you." And even though you know it's the exhaustion talking, it still stings because you're killing yourself to make the holidays special, and this is what you get in return. The truth is, the holidays amplify everything: the excitement, the overstimulation, the meltdowns, and yes, the hurtful words our kids don't fully understand yet. But here's what I've learned after years of navigating big emotions with my own strong-willed kids: how we respond in these moments matters more than we think, and there are ways to handle it that actually strengthen our relationship with them instead of damaging it. This is an encore episode from March 2023, and I'm bringing it back because this message feels especially timely right now. I'm sharing audio from an Instagram Live I recorded about an experience with my son six years ago, and then I'll walk you through three things I've learned about what to do when your child says they hate you or uses other big, hurtful words that land like a punch. In this episode, you'll discover: 🎄 Why your instinct to "show them who's boss" in the heat of the moment actually backfires 🎄 The one-word response that validates your child's big feelings while protecting your own heart 🎄 How to know if your child needs outside support beyond what you can provide at home If your child has said "I hate you" to you this December, I want you to know you're not failing, and there is a way through this that brings you closer together instead of further apart. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Start 2026 with more connection and less guilt. The Flecks of Gold Journal gives you a simple way to notice the good in your child in just a few minutes a day. Grab yours before the year ends. 💜 Related Episodes: 452: How to Repair with Your Child After Yelling // Devon Kuntzman 232: Minimizing Power Struggles // Denaye Barahona 030: How to Coach Your Children through Big Emotions // Georgia Anderson 004: How to Stop Yelling at your Kids // Ralphie Jacobs of Simply on Purpose Episode Sponsors: AirDoctor: Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code 3IN30 to get up to $300 off. It comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee and a 3-year warranty. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** 00:00:00 Introduction 03:02:00 The Story 18:46:00 One: Be the Adult 21:39:00 Two: Validate the Emotions 25:37:00 Three: Get Outside Support 29:20:05 Summary

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Let me know if this hypothetical situation sounds familiar.

0:04.4

It's a few days before Christmas and the house is buzzing, holiday music playing, cookies

0:09.8

burning in the oven, Amazon boxes stacking up by the door, and everyone's nerves are frayed.

0:17.2

You're exhausted.

0:18.3

Your kids are exhausted.

0:19.6

And this morning when you said no to something they wanted, one of your children looked at you and said, I hate you, mom.

0:26.4

And even though you know that they don't mean it, that was their overstimulation talking, it still landed like a punch to the chest.

0:35.0

You're doing everything you can to make this season magical for them,

0:38.7

and in return you get those three words? How dare they, right? Well, if that's happened to you

0:45.7

recently, or if it hits a little too close to home, this episode is for you. Today's episode

0:51.5

is an encore from March of 2023, and I'm bringing it back because this message

0:56.7

feels especially timely right now during the holiday season, when emotions are running high

1:02.6

and kids and their parents are super overstimulated. I'm sharing audio from an Instagram live

1:09.5

I recorded about six years ago, about an experience with my son,

1:13.5

and then I'll come back in with some things I've learned since then about how to respond when our kids use big, hurtful words.

1:20.6

And here's what I want you to know before we dive in.

1:22.9

If your child has said I hate you or worse to you, you are not alone. You are not failing,

1:29.6

and they are not a spoiled brat or a deviant who is never going to have good relationships

1:35.3

when they grow up. We as moms can catastrophize and go there real fast. The holidays bring out

1:41.7

big emotions in all of us, and our kids don't always have the words

1:45.7

or the capacity to express what they're feeling in kind, respectful ways. So I hope that this

1:51.7

episode will give you hope and tools for whatever lies ahead for you during this upcoming

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