Welcome to the happiness podcast. I'm Dr. Robert Puff.

Do you ever get upset at someone and then afterwards say,

why did I get so upset at them? Why did I say what I said? I think we can all think about times in our life where

we wish we hadn't reacted the way we did. So how do we not react when someone makes us

upset? I think even when we feel justified in a behavior

later when we're still and quiet, there's part of us that wish we hadn't reacted so intensely.

I do think our actions are conditioned from a very young age and perhaps maybe even someone

innate.

I mean think about kids.

I have two kids that I love dearly. And the one thing I've noticed in them that they do, that I used to do with my sister, is when one of them does something to the other person that they feel is unjustified, they react in kind.

They often do the exact same thing back to the other person.

It's almost as if an eye for an eye is something we're born with. We got to get them back.

It's learned at a very young age. But unfortunately, a lot of people never grew out of it.

They say stuck there. An eye for an eye. I'm going to get them when they get me.

Well let's first start off with what's wrong with that? If you're a listener right

now and think well when they do something to me I'm going to make sure I get them back.

What's wrong with that?

Well, one of the most important things that's wrong with that is we so often don't know why

they did what they did.

Often, I won't say always, but often, there is just a misunderstanding that has occurred.

Something happened that made you upset that they did, but it was a misunderstanding.

They didn't mean to hurt us, but what we do is when we hear what they said,

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