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These aren't the stories your mother told you.

No, these are the other stories.

We have a new soldier in the fight against that jelly-bellied dead-eye, the one who crawls down chimneys like a red-fredded dry slug, delivering Christmas presents and getting our children hooked on consumerism.

Yes, you know the one. It's the evil known as Santa Claus.

Maddie Kahn has pledged her allegiance and her life.

She said that she would only join the fight if she was allowed to be shot out of a human

cannon whilst covered head to toe in samurai swords into the enemy. We said that sounds pretty

hardcore Maddie and she stabbed me with a samurai sword she pVA glued to the back of her right

elbow. Also David Tolbert has upped his pledge. not content with just being an extremely awesome guy

David has now elevated himself to the rank of Warmaster fun fact David Tolbert can kill a man

with nothing but a humbug he throws them so hard they're like chewy minty bullets

absolutely tasty and absolutely deadly too so thanks again Mad, Maddie Kahn and David Talbot.

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