Hi friends, I'm Tim Heidecker here with my good friend, Eric Wareheim,

here to tell you about an exciting new product from Sinko Technology.

That's right, Tim. It's called the Internet, and it's a fresh new way to check out

sites, buy clothing, and surf music, and it's all located on this tiny CD-ROM.

You bet, Eric. You know, my favorite thing about the internet is that it's 100% secure.

Wait a second, Tim. What about all my e-worms and my email viruses?

Well, Eric, you can kiss your e-virus problems goodbye.

Because the entire internet is located on this CD-ROM.

You're not connected to anything, so no one can connect to you.

Well, Eric, you know I'm a music net, okay?

And that's why I love the internet, because it features net tunes.

With over 100 songs available, it's the perfect music choice for me.

Tim, let me stop you there. I already see a problem.

My wife likes rock music, and I love country.

How can one CD-ROM contain enough music for both of us to be satisfied? I've heard it a million times before. The music on this CD almost feels limitless. The internet. Hey Tim, what are you up to? Well, I'm just chatting with one of my friends here. But you're not connected to the web. How's this working? Well, the internet offers me up to five unique avatars that I could chat with virtually any time a day.

Who are you talking to right now?

Well, this is Professor Hensley.

Do you think I could ask him a question?

Fire away.

Professor, how are you today?

He says fine.

T. TB-L.

...