445: How to help your withdrawing partner be vulnerable

Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

Cloud10

Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.5 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 21 June 2024

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Foreplay listeners, join us today in a 'School of Love' lesson all about the withdrawer's world! Withdrawers are often shutting down, walking away or seeming closed off in the cycle. These moves help them get safe and regulated but are a step in the negative cycle because the pursuing partner is left alone. When we can slow down, and be patient we can help to reveal the vulnerable underbelly of the emotional and sexual withdrawer. In two amazing role plays, hosts Laurie and George display exactly how to get slow, and get curious to learn about the ouch underneath the protective move. Vulnerability is the solution to the negative cycle and so much healing lies in these conversations. Withdrawing partners may often feel like they are messing up, a failure or that something is wrong with them. Pursuing partners may try to help by jumping in to reassure but this would be like diving into the shallow end of a pool. Staying in the deep but being there together is where the change happens. Let us know what notes you take from today's show and as always keep it hot y'all! Please help the podcast by using our great sponsors! ForiaWellness.com/foreplay -- products to help you get and stay aroused! RocketMoney.com -- gain some money back in your budget by having Rocket Money find and cancel your unused subscriptions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone it's Chris Franjola and I'm the host of your new favorite podcast
0:03.9	Cover-to-cover.
0:04.9	Each week on cover-to-cover I scour the world's newspapers
0:08.2	to bring you the craziest stories in fashion, music, pop culture, food, you name it, we give you the comedy angle on all of it.
0:18.0	If this sounds up your alley, listen to cover to cover on the IHeart app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.
0:25.9	The following content is not suitable for children.
0:28.4	Back to the school of love.
0:30.8	Continuing the conversation going deeper baby into vulnerability this time with George Europe. Oh, it's yours. Your turn. Your turn.
0:47.0	Welcome to Fourth place sex therapy. I'm Dr. Lori Watson, your sex therapist. I'm George Valle, a couples therapist.
0:50.0	We are here to talk about sex.
0:52.0	Our mission is to help couples talk about sex in ways that incorporate their body, their
0:58.1	mind, and their hearts.
1:00.2	And we have a little bit of fun doing it, right, G? Listen, and let's change some relationships.
1:05.4	Yeah, Lori, last episode.
1:07.1	We talked about that vulnerability underneath it for pursuers,
1:10.8	that sense of rejection, feeling lonely, not making sense of the loneliness, it must be
1:15.6	that. And it's a really nasty place. And it's never safe for all the power because your partner's gone. Right, so getting the
1:22.0	with jurors to stay present, stay open,
1:24.2	stay curious, gives the space for the pursuers to send clearer signals, right?
1:28.9	It's that vulnerability that's the solution to a negative cycle.
1:33.0	And that's why this is so important.
1:35.3	So today we're going to talk about what it's like for the witcherars.
	...

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