440: Tools for Parenting a "Spicy" Child // Mary Van Geffen

3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

Cloud10

Education, How To, Society & Culture, Parenting, Personal Journals, Kids & Family

5 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 28 July 2025

⏱️ 35 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Oh, the stories I could tell about raising a strong-willed child. But the truth is, if you have a spicy one of your own, you don’t need to hear my stories because you’ve got plenty of your own! Parenting an intense, persistent, sensitive kiddo is a daily rollercoaster. And sometimes, what you need most isn’t another “quick fix”… it’s a wise, compassionate mentor who truly gets it. That’s why I’m so excited to re-share this conversation with Mary Van Geffen, an international parenting coach who specializes in helping moms of "spicy" ones. Mary’s work is rooted in self-compassion, calm leadership, and connection over control - and her advice is the kind that actually works for kids who don’t respond to conventional parenting strategies. This episode is part of our SAM 6 Summer Series, where we’re exploring the six principles of the Self-Assured Motherhood Framework. Today’s focus is the sixth and final principle: Support Their Struggles. It’s about showing up for your child with tenderness in their hardest moments - and learning how to support yourself in the process, too. In this episode, you’ll hear: 🌶️ What to do when your child’s intensity makes you wonder if you’re the problem 🌶️ A daily mindset mantra that can transform how you see your spicy one 🌶️ Why your physical posture might be sending your child a louder message than your words Whether your summer has been sweet, spicy, or somewhere in between, I hope this episode will remind you that you’re not alone… and you’re doing better than you think. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Want to reflect on how you’re really doing in motherhood right now? Take the free Self-Assured Motherhood Framework Assessment. It’s a quick check-in that gives you a visual snapshot of where you’re thriving and where you might need more support. Related Episodes: 426: What to Do When You Don’t Like Your Kid (Even Though You Love Them!) 423: How to Parent a Strong-Willed Child Without Losing Your Mind // Kirk Martin 357: Tips for Staying Calm During Your Big Kid’s Big Meltdowns // Cheryl Cardall Episode Sponsors: K12: Go to K12.com/TAKEAWAYS today to find a tuition-free K12-powered school near you and enroll now. Skylight Calendar: Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to skylightcal.com/takeaways. GoPure: For a limited time, our listeners get 25% off goPure with code 3in30 at checkout. Just head to gopurebeauty.com, use code 3in30, and you’re all set. Motherhood Decluttered Course: My Motherhood Decluttered audio course is a step-by-step guide to help you inventory your overwhelm, edit your expectations, and make room for more joy. It comes with a free Buddy Pass so you can do it with a friend, so go to 3in30podcast.com/declutter to learn more. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course ***

Transcript

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0:00.0	This episode is sponsored by K-12, tuition-free online accredited public schools for kindergarten through 12th grade.
0:07.7	My friends, I know most of us are in the thick of summer, but as another school year is fast approaching,
0:13.0	I want to acknowledge the mental load parents have as we consider our children's unique needs.
0:18.3	You may have questions like, is my child getting the support they need
0:21.4	with the resources that our school has available? Is the pacing right for them? If you're looking for a
0:26.6	change, K-12 powered schools might be a fit. They are tuition-free, online public schools for kindergarten
0:33.4	through 12th grade. These aren't traditional homeschool programs where you'd be responsible for
0:38.0	teaching everything yourself. K-12 has state certified teachers who specialize in online learning
0:43.7	and use engaging tools and technology to bring lessons to life. Join the more than 3 million
0:49.3	families who've been served by K-12 and power your student to reach their full potential now.
0:54.9	Go to K-12.com slash takeaways today to find a tuition-free K-12-powered school near you and enroll now.
1:02.7	That's the letter K, the number 12.com slash takeaways. K-12.com slash takeaways.
1:13.9	You're listening to 3 and 30 Takeaways for Moms and this episode is sponsored by Skylight Calendar, the smart calendar that helps get the whole family
1:18.9	organized with chore charts, routines, and customizable lists all on one touchscreen display.
1:25.4	This week's episode is all about supporting those spicy kids in our lives,
1:29.5	and something that I have seen definitely helps my strong-willed child, is having routines
1:34.2	so they know what's expected of them without me having to engage in a power struggle and
1:39.7	remind them. I love that the chore charts display makes it so that I don't have to tell them to do anything.
1:46.2	They can just check the list on the Skylight calendar to know what's expected, and as they finish
1:50.9	a task, they can use the touchscreen to check off each item for a little dopamine hit. As the
1:56.3	busyness of back-to-school season approaches, Skylight offers a way for your children to visually see the
2:01.3	calendar and upcoming events all in one place because it sinks effortlessly with your digital
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