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TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

#4378 Rolling Down The Garage Door Of Your Heart

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Comedy, Leisure

4.82.4K Ratings

🗓️ 10 January 2025

⏱️ 85 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Luke has fallen head-over-heels in love with his new, modern toilet. Andrew is surprisingly excited about something stupid called Super Wild Card Weekend. And, after an investment firm just bought up a bunch of legacy store brands, Luke and Andrew discuss modern mall culture and the olfactory pleasures of Auntie Anne's pretzels.

Transcript

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0:00.0

I know we've only known each other for four weeks and three days, but to me, it seems like nine weeks and five days.

0:10.2

The first day seemed like a week, and the second day seemed like five days, and the third day seemed like a week again. Then the fourth day seemed like eight days.

0:23.6

But the fifth day, you went to see your mother, and that seemed just like a day.

0:29.6

But then you came back, and later, on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other,

0:36.6

that started seeming like two days.

0:40.8

So in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day,

0:44.6

and that started seeming like four days.

0:46.3

So at the end of the sixth day, on into the seventh day,

0:50.6

it seemed like a total of five days.

0:53.5

And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half.

1:00.0

I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

1:04.0

TBTL.

1:06.0

TBTL.

1:12.5

Guess what day it is. Guess what day it is?

1:14.7

Guess what day it is?

1:16.6

It's Friday. Friday.

1:18.8

Gotta get down on Friday.

1:21.7

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

1:24.3

There are many ways to keep one's lips conditioned.

1:28.7

I don't kiss, for example, 24 hours before a performance because kissing makes your lips mushy and we cannot have mushy lips and be a champion. Actually, you know what?

1:33.3

I can email you or you know you can email me at Splet2 at spletnet.net.net. Splet one's my father. I mean,

1:38.6

I'll be sad to see him go. It'll be nice to get my hands on that handle, you know. Well, all right, hello.

...

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