436: Attachment Styles Explained: Why We Chase Unavailable People (and What To Do Instead) with Thais Gibson
Well with Arielle Lorre
Dear Media, Arielle Lorre
4.8 • 4.2K Ratings
🗓️ 26 January 2026
⏱️ 50 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Why do we want the people who give us the least clarity? Why do situationships feel addictive, and emotionally unavailable partners feel magnetic?
In this episode, Thais Gibson, founder of The Personal Development School, breaks down attachment styles and how they shape attraction, chemistry, boundaries, and relationship patterns. We discuss anxious attachment, dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant, and secure attachment, when attachment styles begin, and why they can change throughout life.
We also explore the difference between chemistry and trauma bonding, why we’re drawn to our repressed traits, the six stages of relationships, and why nervous system work alone isn’t enough to create secure relationships. Thais shares the five pillars to change your attachment style, common triggers and boundary patterns for each style, and the practical steps to becoming securely attached.
If you’re stuck in mixed signals, repeating relationship patterns, or craving clarity in love, this episode will help you understand why, and what to do differently.
Visit university.personaldevelopmentschool.com and use code PDS2026 for 20% off of the Personal Development School’s 90-Day Attachment Healing membership.
This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The following podcast is a dear media production. |
| 0:05.8 | This is Well, a podcast about wellness in all its forms. |
| 0:10.0 | I'm Ariel Laurie, and each week I'm sharing unfiltered conversations with people shaping how we feel, live, and look. |
| 0:17.2 | Come for the substance, stay for the honesty, and leave with the tools to be well, inside and out. |
| 0:25.3 | I am not often or easily blown away necessarily by conversations that I have on the podcast |
| 0:31.4 | when it comes to being able to relate to them. But every now and then there's an episode where I am just like, oh my God, |
| 0:39.9 | like I feel it in my core. I'm identifying. I can relate so much. And this episode was definitely |
| 0:47.0 | one of those for me. And I think it's going to be for you as well because we are talking about |
| 0:53.0 | the four different attachment styles. So everybody |
| 0:56.3 | listening is going to identify with at least one of these and what they mean, why we have them, |
| 1:02.8 | and so much more. So if you've ever wondered, why do we want the people who give us the least |
| 1:07.4 | clarity, why situationships feel so intense, why sometimes secure relationships |
| 1:13.4 | feel unfamiliar. And how to know if it's real chemistry or a trauma bond, we are breaking it down |
| 1:19.3 | today in this episode. So we're talking about attachment styles, what they actually are, how they |
| 1:24.3 | shape who you're attracted to, why so many of us repeat the same |
| 1:27.8 | relationship patterns, even when we know better. We talk anxious, avoidant, fearful, avoidance, |
| 1:32.9 | secure, why nervous system work alone is not enough and the real steps that it takes to move |
| 1:38.8 | toward secure love, which everybody wants. So I am talking to Taise Gibson. She is a relationship and attachment |
| 1:46.2 | theory expert. She is the founder of the Personal Development School. It's one of the most |
| 1:51.1 | respected platforms for attachment healing and emotional reprogramming. She has helped millions |
| 1:56.9 | understand their attachment style and build healthier, more secure relationships. And |
| 2:02.1 | Taise is just so well-versed when it comes to relationships and attachment theory. She is |
... |
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