You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, Relationship Coach Stephanie Rigg, and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

Today's episode is another Q&A episode, and I'm going to be answering the question,

how to navigate the tendency

to lose yourself in relationship, particularly a long-term relationship, as an anxiously attached

individuals. So if you are anxiously attached or you sort of lean that way and you're listening to

this, you've probably experienced that tendency to lose yourself,

self-abandon or just kind of become subsumed into the relationship over the course of a long-term

relationship. And I think that that can obviously be problematic in and of itself, and it can also be really, really challenging if you then

go on to break up. And I know that so many people that I work with in that post-breakup phase

who are more anxiously attached, it's like a double whammy because not only have they lost the relationship, but they left themselves

so far behind so long ago, and that they really left empty-handed and feeling very rudderless

and confused and alone. And that can be a really challenging experience. So for whoever asked

this question by no means,

am I suggesting that that's going to be where your relationship ends up?

But I think that there are many good persuasive reasons

for trying to counter that tendency to lose oneself in relationship

as an anxiously attached person. So I'm going to be sharing some

thoughts on that today. Before I do, just sharing the review of the week, which is, let me just say

that Stephanie's voice is very calming. A lot of people say that apparently my voice is calming and

makes a podcast all the more great to listen to. I came upon this podcast a few months ago

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