429 - The 6 Things To Do After You Catch Your Spouse Watching Porn

Pure Desire Podcast

Pure Desire Ministries

Sexual Addiction Recovery, Religion & Spirituality, Celebrate Recovery, Sexuality, Porn Recovery, Porn Addiction Recovery, Health & Fitness, Aa, Education, Betrayal Trauma, Recovery, Biblical Recovery, Christian Recovery, Healing, Sa, Christianity, Self-improvement

4.6 • 682 Ratings

🗓️ 23 September 2025

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The day of discovery—when a partner finds out their spouse has been viewing porn—can feel like emotional devastation. In this powerful episode, we dive into the six most important steps betrayed partners should take in the aftermath, including reaching out for support, setting healthy boundaries, and allowing space for emotional chaos. Our guest, Heather Kolb, sheds light on why the pain of discovery runs so deep, how to create a Safety Action Plan, and how betrayed partners can seek truth and healing without falling into shame or isolation. We also explore why rushing to reconciliation may do more harm than good and what to do when the struggling spouse refuses to seek help. Whether you're in the early stages of betrayal trauma or walking alongside someone who is, this conversation offers grounding guidance, honest insight, and hope for healing. You are not alone, and your healing matters—starting today.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, hello there, good listener. I am your host, Nick Stumbo, and you are listening to the
0:10.5	Pure Desire podcast, your biblically based and clinically informed approach to healing from betrayal
0:16.3	and breaking free from all sorts of compulsive sexual behavior.
0:27.7	Today is episode 429 and here joining me as my co-host for this series is Ashley Jameson.
0:28.8	Ashley, welcome back.
0:29.5	Good to see you again.
0:32.5	I'm always very glad to be here.
0:40.4	Yes, it's, uh, this is a unique series that we're doing because we wanted to focus in on that critical time period when you've been caught looking at pornography or you're the one catching a spouse
0:46.5	looking at porn and you are in a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts and ideas and, um,
0:53.8	radical steps. If we got to do this or that and, and so and radical steps.
0:55.0	If we got to do this or that,
0:57.0	and so to have some sound advice of what to do in this season,
1:01.0	we thought would be so crucial.
1:03.0	So this is part three of four in our series
1:05.0	on the first 60 days after discovery.
1:09.0	And we spent a couple of episodes talking to the struggler or the addict
1:12.9	about the steps they need to take. And now in the last two parts of the series, we want to really
1:18.0	focus in on the spouse who's experiencing all the realm of emotions of betrayal and hurt and pain
1:24.5	and what did I do to cause this. So Ashley, talk to that betrayed spouse a little bit.
1:29.0	What can they expect from this episode?
1:30.7	Maybe in particular, if this is the first Pure Desire podcast they have ever listened to.
1:35.8	I think they're going to feel validated.
	...

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