425. Coaching Hotline: Resisting Pleasure or Not Enjoying It
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.5K Ratings
🗓️ 23 September 2025
⏱️ 10 minutes
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Summary
Do you ever feel like you're chasing future happiness—only to miss out on the joy of right now? That nagging feeling that you should be doing something else or preparing for what’s next keeps you stuck in a loop of dissatisfaction.
In this week's Coaching Hotline episode, I’m answering two questions about being present and actually enjoying life, instead of endlessly striving for the next goal. I break down why our brains love to sabotage our peace and show you how to create mental space and challenge the beliefs that keep you from being present.
Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/425
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to unfuck your brain. I'm your host Kara Lowentile, master-certified coach, and founder of the School of New Feminist Thought. I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. |
| 0:21.3 | Let's go. |
| 0:24.8 | Welcome to this week's coaching hotline episode where I answer real questions from real listeners |
| 0:31.2 | and coach you from afar. |
| 0:33.6 | If you want to submit your question for consideration, go to unfuck your brain.com forward slash |
| 0:39.5 | coaching hotline, all one word, or text your email to plus one 347-997-1784. And when you get |
| 0:48.7 | prompted for the code word, it's coaching hotline, all one word. Let's get into this week's questions. Here's the first question. |
| 0:57.7 | Every time I'm doing almost anything, mostly pleasurable, but also work-related, my mind is on to the |
| 1:03.1 | next thing or other things I could be doing. Not only I don't get that done, but so much time gets |
| 1:08.4 | wasted in that struggle, and of course, joy is completely |
| 1:10.8 | sucked out of the moment. How can we learn to be more with the task we are doing and learn to be |
| 1:15.2 | present with that thing? I think that's where joy is to be found too, not necessarily in the task |
| 1:19.9 | itself, but in presence. So I think this is a really common issue, which is why I wanted to answer |
| 1:25.4 | this question. And I think there's a couple of things |
| 1:28.3 | that go into this. The first one is you do need a system for getting things that need to be done |
| 1:34.8 | that occur to you out of your head and onto paper. So your brain is not really equipped to remember |
| 1:40.2 | more than about three things at once. So if you don't have a system and you're constantly trying to |
| 1:44.6 | remember to do 10 things that you like haven't written down anywhere, it is going to be very hard to |
| 1:49.5 | focus on anything because you've given your brain a task, which is remember these things. |
| 1:53.6 | Your brain is not really equipped to do that. And so it's constantly cycling through the things |
| 1:57.3 | that's trying to remember because you told it to remember the things. So that is why I |
| 2:01.8 | teach the organizational system that I teach, one of the big premises of which is you have to have an |
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