424. Turning Compare & Despair Into Motivation & Inspiration
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.5K Ratings
🗓️ 18 September 2025
⏱️ 16 minutes
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Summary
Ever felt that gut punch when you see someone else living the life you want? Maybe they’ve landed your dream job, bought your ideal house, or achieved the business success you’re chasing. It feels awful—like proof that you’ll never get there.
In this episode, I’m showing you how to turn those painful feelings of envy and comparison into fuel for your own growth. You’ll learn the two key questions to ask yourself when envy strikes, how to challenge the scarcity mindset that keeps you stuck, and most importantly, I’ll teach you how someone else’s success can become your roadmap, not your roadblock.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/424
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You know that sinking feeling you get in your stomach when you see someone on social media or in real life who has something you desperately want? |
| 0:07.4 | They're making big money. They just bought a new house. They got married. They had a baby. They started a business. They look great in a bikini. Whatever it is. It's something you want and your brain starts worrying. Some of you may feel envious, jealous, almost sick to your stomach. |
| 0:22.1 | Some of you may feel hopeless, helpless, kind of full of despair. |
| 0:25.8 | However you react to this very human experience, today's episode is going to teach you |
| 0:30.3 | how to alchemize that terrible feeling into a productive sense of inspiration and motivation. |
| 0:36.2 | It's like a magic trick you can perform on your own |
| 0:38.6 | brain. So let's get into it. Welcome to unfuck your brain. I'm your host Kara Loenthal, |
| 0:46.5 | master certified coach and founder of the School of New Feminist Thub. I'm here to help you |
| 0:52.2 | turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on |
| 0:56.4 | your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. Let's go. I vividly remember the moment in |
| 1:06.3 | my coach training when I learned the phrase proof of concept. I was talking to my teacher |
| 1:10.7 | about my future coaching business, and I was explaining sadly that of concept. I was talking to my teacher about my future |
| 1:11.4 | coaching business, and I was explaining sadly that I had thought I could be a coach for lawyers, |
| 1:15.8 | but I had Googled and there was already a coach that specialized in working with women lawyers. |
| 1:21.1 | To my mind at that time, that meant that was it. The slot was taken. There was already a coach |
| 1:26.5 | doing that, and I would never catch up, |
| 1:28.3 | obviously. She had a head start. She was probably better qualified. She was definitely more experienced. |
| 1:34.0 | And my coach said, awesome. So I looked at her blankly because how is this awesome? This was actually |
| 1:40.2 | obviously a really big problem. That's proof of concept, she said. That proves that coaching |
| 1:45.6 | lawyers is a viable business strategy and coaching niche. This blew my mind because it turned |
| 1:51.5 | everything on its head that I had assumed. The fact that someone else was doing what I wanted to do, |
| 1:57.7 | it turned out that was not bad news for me. It was actually good news because it |
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