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Kump

42 - Vice President Kump

Kump

Ray Kump

Comedy

4.8548 Ratings

🗓️ 9 August 2020

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ray talks about stealing from the garbage,  WAP, Woodworking, Hoarders, and makes the case for being picked as Joe Biden's running mate.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello and welcome to comp.

0:20.0

It's a lot of chaos going on. We could talk about a lot of chaos going on. Hello and welcome to comp.

0:24.2

It's a lot of chaos going on.

0:25.4

We could talk about a lot of stuff.

0:29.2

I found something in the garbage.

0:34.4

And look, I live in Brooklyn, New York City.

0:41.2

You walk around and you'll see all sorts of opportunities to take things from the trash. It's not that uncommon. You might see a nice, you know, pasta pot along with a

0:51.7

copy of the Communist Manifesto. You might see, you know, a wonderful futon

0:58.2

and also some kind of hate parade paraphernalia.

1:04.7

You might just see, you know, a yoga mat.

1:07.2

And it's nice, and these things are, you know,

1:08.7

but I resist taking them.

1:10.4

Not to hate paraphernal

1:12.2

i mean i don't need to resist but the yoga mat i would i would mind i wouldn't mind um you know

1:19.2

having a nice big pot for pasta right now when i make pasta probably gonna go back on keto soon

1:24.8

but i mean that's not irrelevant the point is when i make pasta i have a pot. It's like a two and a half quart. If you're a cook, if you're a chef, you might know what I'm saying. And when you put, you have to basically like take this boil the water, take the spaghetti and kind of use the lid from the pot to mash the, it's like let it boil for a second,

1:46.3

and so it gets a little soft, and then you mash it down, you tamp it down.

1:52.0

And it does it work to an extent.

1:54.7

I mean, it definitely just chunks of the spaghetti that are hard that you have to kind of chew.

2:00.7

If I was running a restaurant, I wouldn't, you know, be serving it this way. But, you know, I'm willing to put up with a little bit of, uh, you know, I'm a rugged individual in a lot of ways. I'm a, you know, I can, I can take, um, this comfort. Uh, you know, maybe not like a Navy SEAL or an army ranger. I'm about saying I eat bugs and the, You know, maybe not like a Navy SEAL or an Army Ranger. I'm about saying I eat bugs and, you know, have rash all the time. I mean, I get rashes, but I mean, I don't think, that's one thing. I wonder about these guys who go on these marches. Like, don't you get rad? They do. You hear about that, not in the movies. They don't mention that in Zero Dark dark 30 you know where these uh or navy seals with charlie sheen i don't think they mentioned the swamp

2:40.0

ass and the um just the degree to which they're at you know they're they're they're itchy

2:46.2

and they're and they're hurts and you get abrasions and you get these fucking little like

...

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