419. Coaching Hotline: Am I Using Meditation to Escape My Feelings?

UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

Kara Loewentheil

Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Education, Self-improvement, Philosophy, Society & Culture

4.6 • 5.5K Ratings

🗓️ 2 September 2025

⏱️ 14 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this week’s Coaching Hotline, I answer two listener questions that reveal a common trap: we think circumstances create our feelings, when really our thoughts are doing all the work. One caller worries that ambition has become a perfectionist trap, the other wonders if meditation is just a way to avoid difficult emotions.

I break down how to tell if meditation is actually processing emotions or just soothing your nervous system, and what it really means to live an extraordinary life. You’ll learn the difference between true emotional work and sophisticated avoidance—and how to reframe your biggest life questions in a way that actually gives you answers.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/418

Mentioned in this episode:

Have you been secretly dreaming of becoming a coach?

I've got something for you. It's absolutely free and it's called The 3 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Becoming a Life Coach. This is the exact resource I wish I'd had a decade ago when I got my start. To download it, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/three

Click here to download: 3 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Becoming a Life Coach

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to unfuck your brain. I'm your host Kara Lowentile, master-certified coach, and founder of the School of New Feminist Thought. I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live.
0:21.3	Let's go.
0:24.8	Welcome to this week's coaching hotline episode where I answer real questions from real listeners
0:31.2	and coach you from afar.
0:33.6	If you want to submit your question for consideration, go to unfuck your brain.com forward slash
0:39.5	coaching hotline, all one word, or text your email to plus one 347-997-1784.
0:48.0	And when you get prompted for the code word, it's coaching hotline, all one word.
0:52.6	Let's get into this week's questions.
0:55.7	Here is the first question. I have three goals for my life, to cultivate a happy family
1:01.0	and marriage, have a beach house, and stand for political office. I have two kids and I'm considering
1:06.2	a third, despite it being hectic and stressful. I have a beach house which I find hard to keep on
1:10.8	top of
1:11.1	maintaining, and I'm part of a political leadership program, but I don't give it my all. I can't tell
1:16.4	if my life has a perfectionist fantasy gone wrong and now it's too stressful, or if I'm just going
1:20.7	through the development required to live an extraordinary life. How can I have courage to see my goals
1:25.0	out to the end despite the stress? So here is the thing.
1:29.5	Your life is not stressful.
1:31.4	Your family's not stressful.
1:33.0	The beach house isn't stressful.
1:35.0	Political office isn't stressful.
1:37.0	Your thoughts are creating the stress.
1:40.7	So even if you have a perfectionist fantasy that you've been trying to achieve, it's not the trying
	...

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