The following is an archived podcast presented by the Branson and Hudson Foundation for Podcast Recovery, a Charles Austin company.

It is the first and only episode of the podcast.

Welcome to episode one.

I will now read the rules of this duel in accordance with the code Donald Duck.

A morally acceptable duel would start with the Challenger issuing a traditional public

personal grievance based on an insult directly to the single person who has offended

the Challenger.

Aurelius Pigfolk Monsanto has challenged the lonious sprocket clock to chivalric combat in the defense of his honor

and the honor of his bovine lady. At Gentleman's Bog, each side has been instructed to bring a second.

A doctor was also requested, but the good lord did not see fit to provide one to the town of Petit Perie,

so we are being observed by the mute woman Martha,

who provides the vast majority of leeches and poultices to the town.

Stomp your foot if you understand Martha.

Very good.

I am registering that both parties are present for this year duel.

My name is Aurelius Pigfolk Monsanto, and I seek satisfaction.

Will the opponent please state his name for the record and introduce his second?

My god-given name is the lonius Sprocket Clock, and I am here with my second Gimlet.

The following rules will be abided by both parties of the duel.

Pistles are the agreed upon weapon.

Each duelist will start back to back in the bog and then walk 20 paces at which point

they will drop their handkerchief and fire their pistol.

...