My name is Alex Branson. You're about to listen to excerpts of my latest novel, The Money Wars, performed by my lovely wife Alana and Will Menaker, the less lovely but still pretty good host of Chapo Trap House.

The Money Wars is a visionary and groundbreaking sci-fi novel showing us a possible future for the earth, where, after a large natural

money deposit is discovered in Antarctica, Earth is renamed to Battleworld and three factions

inevitably formed a fight. The World Bankers Alliance, the United Money Emirates, and Battle

Island fight for control of Battleworld in a world that is for the very first time

completely controlled by money. Come with me now to the money wars, to a futuristic war where

finance and technology combined to create something greater and far more dangerous.

This is a serious novel. Nothing about this is funny.

This is a serious novel that I wrote and I don't think it is funny at all. Please enjoy.

Chapter 7, Wade v. The Battle Tunnel. A greenback rocket whizzed over Darth Wade's head,

exploding into a confetti of costly dollars, acidic money that melts if you touch it. A few two

eager fools emerged from the debris to desperately grasp the dollars, liquefying them immediately.

Darth hovered over the unconscious body of a Sergeant John Charity, who was recently incentivized

medically to go into a comatose status in Roth IRA Stasis Funfield that cannot be open for at least 65 days.

Darth hesitated, looking down into the battle tunnels of the famed battle world, which is what they

call Earth now.

War is going to be raging in TBB until at least 5 o'clock.

At 5, Digislicer licenses cost triple, so most nations can't afford to be

at war in the evening because the Merks cost too much, said a little explainer, a Wi-Fi-enabled

vagrant child that has genetic access to all Wikipedia's. TBB, said Darth incredulously, Teca-beBakabuku. That's what we call it here for short.

Darth Wade laughed. Thank God I ran into you, little explainer.

Hey, Darth? Yeah, little explainer?

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