41: Neo-Mary Is About To E X P L O D E (The Questions of Bartholomew)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 30 April 2019

⏱️ 84 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Happy Easter, Theophiloi! He is risen indeed! It's definitely still Easter, so we're back with the Questions of Bartholomew, and friends, let me tell you: he is not the only one with some questions. Join us as Jesus reveals mysteries that are so scary they will literally make you die just from seeing them. We hope hearing about them is a bit less lethal.

Topics of Discussion: Hellstorm: Son of Satan, handy iconography of St. Nicholas of Myra, man-capes, St. Gracilis of Bonicorpus, an explanation of walls, a very long week, William Castle, Satan's version of Goof Troop, an amazing parenthetical, the three dudes left in Hell, Adam's very improbable height.

Hymnal: "Chase the Devil" by Max Romeo and the Upsetters

Offertory: If you enjoy the show, head to ko-fi.com/apocrypals and send us a love offering! We absolutely appreciate it!

Transcript

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0:00.0	But Mary said unto them,
0:02.0	Ask me not concerning this mystery.
0:04.0	If I should begin to tell you,
0:05.6	fire will issue forth out of my mouth and consume all the world.
0:09.6	The Gospel of Bartholomew, chapter 2, verse 5.
0:13.2	Lucifer son of the morning,
0:15.8	I'm gonna chase you out of earth Hello, friends and neighbors, and welcome to Apocrypal's.
0:34.6	It's the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible, and we try not to be jerks about it.
0:38.6	My name is Chris Sims.
0:40.5	With me, as always, the other half of your humble Sons of Thunder.
0:43.8	Benito Serrano.
0:44.5	Benito, how are you today?
0:46.5	I'm good.
0:47.2	Here we are.
0:47.9	Happy Easter.
0:49.1	Just in time.
0:50.5	It's time for our Easter special.
0:54.9	On time.
0:57.0	It is on time.
1:03.2	It's definitely, first of all, it's definitely Sunday right now as people are hearing this.
1:06.4	And it is definitely Easter.
1:07.8	So.
	...

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