Hey, now San Auburn.

Chicago seemed tired last night.

They had cigarettes where they're supposed to be eyes.

Hey, where you're Bala Yates?

All the iris seemed wired last night. Hey, what's happening? It's me. It's Mike. Your pal, your friend, you're good. Your podcasting buddy, hand in hand with you, skipping through the marigolds, talking and listening and doing all those things together. You and I, we're symbiotic our relationship. You sit there. You listen. I sit here and I talk. And there's a conduit. There's a microphone and a laptop between the two of us.

I'm stalling for time here in the beginning because first of all, it feels like my mouth's kind of juicy. I hope you're not getting juiciness in your ears.

As you've shoved your iPod vagina as deep into your ear can

as you possibly can to give yourself the tinnitus that I'm growing old with.

Oh, my lord, I'll tell you what, my ears are ringing. They're ringing all the time. You ever heard that phrase like if your ears are ringing and someone's talking about you? Oh my God, are people fucking talking about me all the time everywhere. God damn it. I'm, uh, I'm going to quote Chrissy Hyde. I'm the talk of the town.

All right. So if you've noticed, first of all, I don't know what the running time for this fucking thing is because I'm just going to, I have a plan and I was going to announce this and tell you guys about it. But here's the thing. You know how bad I am at that because if I tell you and then something happens, like where, oh, I don't know. I don't do the fucking thing I said I was going to do. I feel like a tragedy. Uh, when you be a little time and you don't know why it's tragedy. That's a song about the BGs and I don't know all the words. Uh, you know what? I'm not sure if I know all the words to any one particular VG. I've got to be staying alive.

I must know all the words. You know what? I'm not sure if I know all the words to any one particular BG's, I've got to be staying alive. I must know all the words to that, right? But also, I could have faked my way through some things, because when it opens, he's like, a little, where, where? I know what the fuck he's saying there. Deep in my soul, but you lead it.

You hear it.

All right.

Well, that's night fever.

That's not even staying alive.

See, I don't even know the fucking words to that one. I don't know the words the night fever. I don't know the words that's staying alive. Uh, wait. Dittledup, pown, down, down, down. What if I do.

B'l-da-l-cow-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-tout.

M-pbba-bba-bba-bada.

M-pbba-bba-bda-bba-da-da-cda.

What if I did?

This is the whole fucking joke.

Bada-da-da-da-da. What if I do this? The whole fucking joke. Well, you can tell me the way I use my walk. I'm a woman's man. No time to talk. You can't have. I just faked my way. Kiss, kick my eyes. Still, I am gone. And it's all right. It's okay. You can look the other way because I'm just carrying paint and eating pizza. That's all I'm doing. That's me, man, Tony Minero. If they made that movie enough, they remade it, they'd be like Tony be doing the strut and there'd be a record scratch. Yeah, that's me. Tony Minero, carrying paint and eating pizza. I'll bet you're wondering how I got here. And then eventually his friend would rape somebody, and then Tony would get a bandage on his nose. And it would be somehow a melancholy maudlin type film. And then Roger Ebert's ghost would come back from the grave and bring Gene Sisko with him so Gene could go ahead and buy the suit again. You know, Gene Siskel owned the Saturday Night Live suit. Are you aware of that? Actually, he owned the Saturday Night Fever suit. I have no idea what the Saturday Night Live suit is. Is it Blushy's fucking karate costume from a samurai gardener wherever the fuck? I guess karate costume seems like it's reductive when you're a samurai. Samurai's worked very hard. They don't just do, they don't kick boards.

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