4085: The Doormat and the Control Freak: Healing With Solitude by Vironika Tugaleva on Personal Growth

Optimal Living Daily - Personal Development and Self-Improvement

Optimal Living Daily LLC

Self-improvement, Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 3.2K Ratings

🗓️ 15 July 2026

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | Apple Podcasts | RSS

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Summary

Get the 200+ Page Optimal Living Daily Workbook (PDF) — Free. Want to turn today’s episode into an actionable plan? Join the Optimal Living Weekly newsletter and I’ll send you our 200-page digital workbook immediately. It’s packed with the best takeaways from the show, formatted for easy reading and implementation at home. Get your free PDF workbook here: ⁠⁠https://oldpodcast.eo.page/join⁠ Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 4085: Vironika Tugaleva reflects on how rediscovering solitude helped her break free from swinging between people-pleasing and rebellion, allowing her to better understand her own needs without dismissing the needs of others. Through a simple but powerful personal story, she illustrates how creating space for self-reflection can lead to healthier relationships, greater emotional resilience, and more compassionate problem-solving. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.vironika.org/doormat-control-freak-solitude/ Quotes to ponder: "Solitude makes me strong. Then, I bring that strength to my relationships." "I’m trying to formulate a bond with myself that’s strong enough to weather the influence of the outside world. It’s hard, but I’m doing the work. And that’s enough for me." "Rebellion liberated me in one way and limited me in another. In order to always put myself first, I throttled my empathy. I told myself that, in order to be happy, I had to do what was right for me and forget everyone else." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:09.7	So there's no better time for a check-up to make sure your boilers fit and strong.
0:14.3	But don't dilly-dally, don't hang around, because this offer won't last long.
0:19.0	Search British Gas Boilers Service,
0:21.9	taking care of things.
0:23.6	79 pounds with membership,
0:24.6	889 pounds without,
0:26.1	versus 109 pound standard.
0:28.7	First year, new annual boiler service contract only.
0:29.8	Ends 5th of August.
0:32.5	This is Optimal Living Daily,
0:35.1	the Dormat and the Control Freak.
0:36.7	Healing with Solitude. By Veronica Tugaleva of Veronica.org, and I'm
0:40.6	Justin Mollick. We're going to jump right into today's post as we optimize your life.
0:49.4	The Dormat and the Control Freak, Healing with Solitude by Veronica Tugaleva of Veronica.org.
0:57.0	I grew up undervaluing solitude.
1:00.4	As an only child with immigrant parents who were struggling to make ends meet,
1:04.3	I was my own constant companion.
1:06.3	I spent those hours by myself constructing elaborate dream worlds in my head.
1:10.7	I made up songs. I danced. I
	...

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