Michael Jordan has more points per game. He has more championships. He has more MVP's.

But you have to consider the intangibles. When I dream about LeBron James, he is strong

and handsome like an ancient king. When I dream about Michael Jordan, he's dirty and

sick like a rat. That has to count for something.

Of course, the dreams we all have about Michael Jordan are horrible. There's no argument

there, but he is undefeated in the finals. I don't care how many times I have to wake

up in a cold sweat after being hunted by a rabbit, bloodthirsty Michael Jordan.

Championship rings matter. Unbelievable. I recently had a terrible fever, whereas having

visions of dying in a swamp. LeBron James carried me to safety. Told me he knew I was doing

my best and that God loved me no matter what. Michael Jordan tried to bite my face.

Does that sound like the greatest to you?

T-T-B-T-L. Guess what day it is? Guess what day it is?

It's Friday, Friday, and we get down on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

I love to build the sorrows. It's nothing like when your lips conflict. I skinless is

rubbery. I'm easily... I don't... Hmm. How did you follow? Oh, I see.

Dirty monkey not okay, but dirty monkey dance. I shouldn't have prepared, but I just watched

TV.

All right, hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Friday edition of T-B-T-L,

the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

The song goes out to all the coffee lovers of the world.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. I'm not a man, I'm a turtle.

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia where

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