today we are talking about four rules for expectations unmet and unclear expectations can do major

damage in your marriage expectations and misunderstanding them is a main source of most conflict in most marriages.

We are excited to share some tips from our friends at an emotionally healthy leader today,

and we think this is going to help you better understand healthy expectations and implement

them in your marriage.

We pray you find this episode helpful to you and your marriage.

Welcome to the awesome marriage podcast, a place for honest conversations about marriage and practical advice on how to build an awesome marriage.

I am your co-host, Christina Dodson.

On the show will be our host, Dr. Kim Kimberling.

Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over 50 years.

His passion is to help you strengthen your most intimate relationship.

So to kick things off, I'll share what Jerry Skazero from Emotionally Healthy Leader says are the four characteristics of unhealthy expectations.

She says they are unconscious, unrealistic, unspoken, and unagreed upon.

So if an expectation is any of those four things, it means it is not a healthy expectation. So often our expectations

for our spouse are one, if not all four of these things, which is a huge problem. Dr. Kim,

do you see any of these standing out to you as the biggest issue, like the biggest problem

with expectations and marriages? It's a really good question and I totally

agree with her. I think she's right on on that. I'm going to say unspoken because I think what I

see even in marriages that are pretty good, there's still that chance of the unspoken expectations.

It's when we meet, you know, I have an expectation of Nancy and I don't tell

her what my expectation is so she can respond and say that's valid or not. And I get mad at for

not doing what I thought she was going to do. And I think that's when I would see probably more

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