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Relationship School Podcast

4 Non-Negotiable Needs Required For a Secure Partnership - 272

Relationship School Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Relationshippodcast, Sex, Relationshipadvice, Society & Culture, Jaysongaddispodcast, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6981 Ratings

🗓️ 29 January 2020

⏱️ 15 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do you have needs? Do you own them? Or do you know you have needs, but then you get scared to ask for them to be met because you're afraid the other person will leave? Understandable. Most people are used to sequestering their needs in exchange for scraps of connection. Please don't do this.
I've done a lot of work with my own needs to determine that I do in fact have them in an adult partnership, and that i'm unwilling to not have them met. I'm also willing to offer these needs to my wife forever. Most people pretend they don't have needs in a partnership because being "needy" is bad in this culture.
But I'm here to let you know you have 4 needs that are not negotiable if you want to really go for it and create a secure partnership over time.
What are they?
1. Feeling safe
2. Feeling seen
3. Feeling soothed
4. Feeling supported/challenged
Think I'm crazy? Just listen as I unpack each one and I think you'll get the idea. Enjoy this short podcast episode and share with a friend who thinks they don't have needs! lol.
Shownotes:
(2:35) The 4 needs for security in a long-term relationship
(4:20) How to recognize an insecure relationship
(7:30) Feeling Safe
(8:15) Feeling Seen
(9:15) Feeling Soothed
(10:20) Felling supported and challenged

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Think about it. If you don't feel supported, like your partner doesn't believe in you,

0:02.8

and they won't ever challenge you outside of just being kind of triggering assholes sometimes,

0:06.9

but they actually like a conscious challenge, that doesn't promote security.

0:10.4

It promotes complacency and fear and insecurity. Yo, and welcome back to another episode of the Relationship Schools

0:37.7

podcast here coming at you from Boulder, Colorado.

0:40.9

Jason Gatis, your host, and I'm so grateful to be here again.

0:45.0

Damn.

0:47.0

Yeah, this podcast is about love.

0:51.0

It's about connection.

0:52.0

It's about getting the most out of your relationships as possible.

0:56.7

Like, why would you settle for mediocre relationships? Well, people settle because they don't know any different.

1:02.1

They do not know what is possible.

1:05.6

You know, you could be in a safe relationship where you feel all the things I'm going to talk

1:10.0

about today. You can have that, but you've got to double down and go get it. You got to learn how. It doesn't just come to you guys out of the sky.

1:17.9

If you're listening to this podcast, you probably have had enough relationship challenges in your life that you want to learn.

1:23.7

For other people, maybe it's easy this part of their life.

1:26.3

But I'd say for most people, especially a long-term relationship, it's kind of challenging.

1:31.1

So we drill down into long-term partnership here.

1:34.0

We do talk about friendships, work relationships, and more.

1:39.0

We interview tons of experts, neuroscientists, my wife,

1:45.0

and couples and many other people just to help you.

1:49.0

So for those listeners, thanks.

...

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