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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

4.27.26, Cat Tongues and Cat Legs

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 27 April 2026

⏱️ 119 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Can people even hear us? The guys talk about the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Not being able to move sucks, and not being able to dodge a foul ball sucks even more. What happens when Lazlo takes too long on a smoke break? A Louisianan restaurant is (allegedly) cooking roadkill. Lazlo and SlimFast have no interest in seeing the Michael Jackson biopic. Don’t go to jail in Japan. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:10.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:17.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.5

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who

0:30.6

attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.2

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:41.7

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:47.1

Now that this thing's done, maybe people can suddenly hear us.

0:49.6

So I'm going to assume that as of right now, because that thing looks like it's's done that they can hear us. I assume so.

0:55.8

The thing is, after however many years

0:58.0

of sitting here, I was supposed

0:59.9

to take, you know, probably by now a million

1:02.0

quick classes on

1:03.9

exactly what to do in a situation

1:06.2

like this. I mean, I guess

1:08.0

I have maybe a long... No, that's not your fault.

1:10.3

No? I mean, a little inside have maybe a line. Well, no, that's not your fault. No?

1:26.6

I mean, a little inside, you know, baseball here with these alerts. Like, it used to be that you would run it yourself. Right. You would start, so you would have like an intro, like now, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? And they gives you amount of time to hit the button and then run it. And then it has like, you know, that was whatever, right?

1:27.9

I remember the code there.

1:29.0

It was a little machine.

1:28.1

But then I just decided code there, yeah.

1:29.0

It was a little machine.

...

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