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Breakup Boost: Advice to Get Over Heartbreak

#397: Misusing The Term "Trauma Bonding" & How It May Be Keeping You Stuck

Breakup Boost: Advice to Get Over Heartbreak

Trina Leckie

Healing, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Tv & Film, After Shows, Alternative Health, Science, Social Sciences, Health & Fitness, Education, Wife, Dating, Society & Culture, Coaching, Ex, Attraction, Girlfriend, Relationships, Separated, How To, Coping, Husband, Attract, Boyfriend, Love, Health, Advice, Breakdown, Depression, Breakup, Anxiety, Divorce, Relationship, Date, Marriage, Brokenhearted, Heartache

4.81.2K Ratings

🗓️ 23 October 2025

⏱️ 7 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

You've probably seen people throw around the term "trauma bonding" like confetti on social media… but are they using this term correctly?! In this episode, we're breaking down what trauma bonding actually is, how people misuse it, and why calling every messy relationship by that name might be keeping you stuck.

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(1) ORDER EMAIL or PHONE coaching at breakupBOOST.com

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(5) Follow Trina TIKTOK @breakupBOOST

(6) Follow Trina's relationship podcast: Help Us Couples Coaching

(7) Follow Trina's breakup podcast FOR MEN: JUST CALL TRINA

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

You're listening to Breakup Boost, honest and logical advice with the sprinkle of bluntness.

0:07.0

Trina keeps it real.

0:08.3

She'll help you navigate the craziness of the modern dating world.

0:11.3

Stop obsessing over your ex and finally close the door on half-ass relationships.

0:15.7

This girl's got your back.

0:17.2

Here's Trina.

0:20.2

Hi guys. So I wanted to do this episode on trauma bonding because the term has just been getting thrown around so loosely, especially online.

0:31.1

And I don't know about you, but if I'm scrolling relationship content for a while, it's rare not to run into someone talking about it or

0:38.5

hashtagging it. But what a lot of people don't realize is most of the time, that's not even what's

0:44.2

really going on. So on one hand, a lot of people use trauma bonding to describe your typical

0:50.3

unhealthy relationship. You know, the one that's all too common these days, full of ups and downs and

0:56.2

drama, that kind of thing. Or they use the term trauma bonding when they've shared similar

1:02.9

experiences with someone, such as we both lost our parents at a young age. We both went

1:09.5

through bad breakups, terrible divorces. We both

1:12.6

had rough childhoods, that kind of thing. Neither of those is trauma bonding. One version

1:20.1

exaggerates it, and the other is just about being able to relate to each other through shared

1:26.1

life experience. And my guess is it becomes confusing because the word bonding is used, right?

1:33.3

And when you think bonding, you think closeness.

1:36.3

Real trauma bonding, however, is much more serious.

1:41.3

It's not two people helping each other heal. It's when someone mistreats you,

1:47.0

then pulls you back in with affection or guilt. It's that cycle of abuse, the cycle of hurt you,

1:55.3

comfort you, hurt you again. And over time, that roller coaster starts to feel normal, even addictive. You get used to it,

...

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