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Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

#396 - Are You an Over-Giver in Relationships? How to Start Receiving

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Marriage, Mental Health, Success, Emotionalintelligence, Selfhelp, Wellness, Mentalhealth, Selfimprovement, Career, Health, Society & Culture, Careerdevelopment, Mindfulness, Lifeadvice, Dating, Parenting, Breakups, Relationships, Productivity, Positive, Happiness, Goals, Health & Fitness, Communication

4.6849 Ratings

🗓️ 8 April 2024

⏱️ 32 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do you have a habit of giving too much in relationships? Maybe you say "yes" when you really want to say no, or you offer much more emotional and material support than you receive in return. 

All of this sounds noble, but overgiving is a habit that will eventually wear you down (and, that will keep you from having truly satisfying relationships based on mutuality). So how can you stop being an "over-giver" and start creating healthy give and take in your relationships? That's what we're talking about on today's episode. 

I've worked with many clients over the years who were card-carrying overgivers. They were all smart, strong, competent people who excel at getting stuff done. The flip side of these strengths can be a habit of over-functioning in relationships, which leads the people around them to underfunction. The result is a situation where they HAVE to do it all, because otherwise, everything will fall apart. 

At least that's how it feels. In reality, when you stop over-giving, you open up space for the people around you to step up. Some of them may disappoint you, but often, you will be pleasantly surprised at how the people around you rise to the occassion. You can stop feeling guilty, resentful, overwhelmed, and unappreciated, and start having the nourishing relationships you deserve. 

This episode will show you the way! You'll learn:  

  • Why overgiving is damaging to your relationships and your wellbeing
  • What overgiving looks like
  • Why you overgive in relationships
  • How to stop being an overgiver 
  • Tips for setting healthy boundaries 
  • Creating balance through the power of vulnerability and authenticity. 

All of that and more for you on today's show. I hope you'll join me! 

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby 

P.S. — If you want to break this habit once and for all, we should talk. Schedule a free consultation: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Are you an overgiver? Many people form relationships that are totally built around what they can give to others, which sounds noble, but unfortunately this pattern can leave you feeling unseen, unknown, unloved, frankly resentful. So if this is you, how do you stop

0:25.5

over-serving other people and start thinking about yourself a little bit so that you can

0:32.1

create healthy relationships based on mutual give and take? Well, that's what we're talking about on today's show.

0:48.3

Friends, we're listening to The Spirals.

0:53.7

The song is trying to please because that's what overgiving is all about.

1:00.6

Learn more about the spirals on their bandcamp page, the spirals, S-P-Y-R-A-L-S dot bandcamp.com.

1:10.0

And if this is your first time listening, welcome to the love, happiness, and success podcast.

1:15.5

I'm your host, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, my background.

1:18.8

I'm a therapist.

1:19.7

I'm a psychologist.

1:20.4

I'm a marriage and family therapist specifically.

1:23.4

And I am your honored host.

1:26.0

I have to tell you, I love doing this podcast for you so much.

1:29.9

And I'm always so honored when you guys reach out to me through the socials or through my website, growingself.com, to let me know what's going on with you, what's on your mind, questions you have.

1:41.5

I just love that. So please keep those coming and I'll do my best to build

1:47.1

episodes around them like the one we're doing today. And hey, thank you too for sharing the show.

1:56.1

If there are topics I'm talking about and you're thinking about a friend or loved one who's like,

2:00.8

they need to hear that.

2:01.9

Thanks for sharing it.

2:03.2

And also, thank you so much for subscribing to the podcast, either on your podcast player

2:09.4

or on YouTube, because that is how we grow and get the message of love, happiness,

2:14.5

and success out into the world.

...

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