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Keith and The Girl

3959: The Standard Is the Standard

Keith and The Girl

Keith Malley

Chemda, Funny, Girl, Selfhelp, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Comedy, Katg, Mentalhealth, Keith

4.71.8K Ratings

🗓️ 26 January 2026

⏱️ 47 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

KEITH GOT A SHOUT-OUT ON SNL! (He KNEW microwaving a steak would one day pay off!) Keith also discusses the latest ICE murder (as of press time, mind you), the upcoming Super Bowl contestants, Pittsburgh Steelers’ new head coach, and the Oscar and Razzie nominations. Keith also looks back on the great Gilbert Gottfried and his thoughts on Nazi war reenactors. (I guess it’s been hip for some time.)

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, all you are you all this is going to listen to us to Keith and another show.

0:04.9

Welcome to Keith and the girl. I'm Keith Malley. I did not need the batteries, the lanterns or the gun.

0:10.3

The storm, winter storm fern was not that bad here in Charlotte, after all. Some ice, snow, of course, but not too bad for the city really scaring the shit out of me. And I know it's

0:23.4

frozen in New York City, of course, but maybe the infrastructure in the south is just much

0:27.7

worse. But man, they warn you. First time I ever let faucet drip, which I never did before in my

0:34.2

life. So I was ready to come home to floods, but everything worked out,

0:38.2

except I do have my second tub filled with water. Now I got to drink all that. I have the AMC

0:43.7

movie pass. If I look up times, there's no times for any theaters. They shut down. My girlfriend's

0:50.3

favorite restaurants shut down. my place shut down.

0:56.3

And you know restaurants, they don't care about their employees.

0:58.6

It was a big deal of a scary shit.

1:00.2

But nothing really happened.

1:07.2

Instead, I stayed home, kept a low key, watched a little S&L, and oops, who was featured on S&L?

1:08.1

Yeah boy.

1:10.1

Yeah, boy got a shout out. So the host was Tiana Taylor.

1:14.9

She played the main rebel, the mom in one battle after another. I guess in real life, Tiana

1:20.5

Taylor is a great dancer and break dancer. And one of the skits is later in the show was a

1:26.3

wedding scene. The bride and groom, the DJ,

1:29.2

they're saying hi to everybody, and they introduced the uncle that's there, and it's Tiana

1:33.1

Taylor just as an old man, and the old man does a bunch of breakdancing and shit.

1:38.6

It's like, well, you can't control this fucking guy, right?

1:41.1

But this is how the sketch starts, which has nothing to do with the rest of the skit.

...

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