This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. At self-work we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them.

Whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you

who might already be knowledgeable about mental health treatment, but also to those of you

who might say you'd never darken the door of a therapist.

And yet you are here.

I'll answer your questions while I invite you

to take a few minutes for your own self-work.

I've often had clients tell me. In some ways I wish I'd been hurt physically

somehow. I don't really, but at least I might have known I mattered. I got nothing. It didn't matter what I was feeling or needing. My parents paid no

attention. How do you begin to have a sense of who you are of your value if you

weren't one of the lucky ones that was noticed.

Welcome to this week's edition of self-work.

So many of my episode ideas come from you and this is another one. In my Facebook group which is open to all of you

it's Facebook.com slash group slash self-work. Someone asks the question, do you ever

wish you were more important to someone than you are?

Like, I know I'm important to some people, but there are others where I feel like they are more

important to me than the other way around and I feel bad about it.

That's so stupid, right?

The main answer was?

Mm-mm, no, that's not stupid.

But for me, it brought up the whole topic of mattering,

...