391: What if you forgave the neo-Nazi who killed your father?
This Is Actually Happening
Audible
4.6 • 10.4K Ratings
🗓️ 27 January 2026
⏱️ 62 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
After a white supremecist killed his father at a Sikh temple outside of Milwaukee, Pardeep Singh Kaleka pairs up with a former neo-Nazi to teach students about overcoming hate and finding forgiveness.
Today’s episode was produced in collaboration with Pauline Bartolone, and was funded in part by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, as part of its "Spreading Love Through the Media" initiative, supported by the John Templeton Foundation.
Pauline can be reached at paulinebartolone.org and on Instagram @pmbartolone
Today’s episode featured Pardeep Singh Kaleka. If you’d like to reach out to Pardeep, you can email him at Pardeep.S.Kaleka@gmail.com.
Pardeep is on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn @pardeepsinghkaleka
Pardeep is the Clinical Director at Mental Health America–Wisconsin, a senior anti-hate advocate, and co-author of The Gift of Our Wounds. After losing his father in the 2012 Oak Creek Sikh Temple attack, he became a leading voice for community healing, resilience, and faith. With over 25 years of experience in law enforcement, education, mental health, and supporting hate-crime survivors, Pardeep has served with the U.S. Department of Justice–CRS and led the Interfaith Conference. He specializes in communal trauma and helps public health professionals, educators, and law enforcement develop community-oriented strategies to address conflict, hate, and rising targeted violence.
Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Pauline Bartolone
Content/Trigger Warnings: Mass shooting / gun violence, Murder / death, Hate crime / domestic terrorism, White supremacy / neo-Nazi ideology, Racism / religious persecution (anti-Sikh bias; Islamophobia mentioned), PTSD / trauma responses, Suicidal ideation (students mention feeling suicidal), Bullying, Addiction / substance abuse, Graphic violence / execution-style killing details. Police shooting / officer shot, explicit language
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Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This Is Actually Happening features real experiences that often include traumatic events. |
| 0:04.3 | Please consult the show notes for specific content warnings on each episode, |
| 0:07.5 | and for more information about support services. |
| 0:16.7 | Hi listeners. |
| 0:18.8 | Today's episode features Pardip Singh Kalika, who lost his father during a mass shooting at a Sikh temple in Wisconsin in 2012. |
| 0:27.4 | Today's episode was produced in collaboration with Pauline Bartolone and was funded in part by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center as part of its spreading love through the media initiative, |
| 0:38.7 | supported by the John Templeton Foundation. And now, for today's episode, What if you forgave |
| 0:44.4 | the neo-Nazi who killed your father? |
| 0:50.3 | What people want are explanations, but what I got was so much deeper than an explanation. |
| 0:56.2 | I got the experience of empathy. |
| 1:06.6 | From Wondery, I'm Witt Misseldine. |
| 1:10.2 | You're listening to This Is Actually Happening. |
| 1:16.8 | Episode 391. |
| 1:20.2 | What if you forgave the neo-Nazi who killed your father. When my parents met in 1970s, arranged marriages were very much the typical way that they sees would marry. |
| 1:57.9 | And so the first time that they actually met was when they were married. |
| 2:03.5 | It was very typical to not really think about individualism and what your happiness may look like, |
| 2:10.2 | but what would the family's happiness look like? |
| 2:14.1 | Shortly after they were married, both my mother and father were farmers. |
| 2:19.5 | My grandparents, great-grandparents, almost all of the lineage that comes from Punjabi families |
| 2:24.7 | is either formed from military, agriculture, or the mix thereof. |
| 2:30.3 | So it was very typical for a Punjabi household in the 70s to be in Punjab and to have a what's known as a city house and have a farmhouse. |
| 2:40.0 | And so I kind of was born on a farm in rural Punjab. |
... |
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