390: What if your unresolved grief led to a fatal decision?
This Is Actually Happening
Audible
4.6 • 10.4K Ratings
🗓️ 20 January 2026
⏱️ 51 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
After killing a cyclist while driving drunk, a woman confronts the consequences of her actions and begins the long, painful work of rebuilding a life shaped by guilt and accountability.
Today’s storyteller wishes to remain Anonymous.
Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Sara Marinelli
Content/Trigger Warnings: Drunk driving, Fatal accident, Death, Manslaughter, Substance abuse / alcoholism, Emotional abuse, Psychological trauma, Moral injury, Guilt and shame, Suicidal ideation, Incarceration / jail, Grief, Anxiety, Depression, Public shaming / social stigma, explicit language
Social Media:
Instagram: @actuallyhappening
Twitter: @TIAHPodcast
Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com
Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com
Website for Sara Marinelli: saramarinelli.com
Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening
Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus
Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.
Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com
Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez
Music Bed: Discovery Studios Tracks (DST) - Dark Oasis
Services
If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:
National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988
National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264
National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | This Is Actually Happening features real experiences that often include traumatic events. |
| 0:04.3 | Please consult the show notes for specific content warnings on each episode, |
| 0:07.5 | and for more information about support services. |
| 0:14.6 | I was now the villain. I was now the monster. |
| 0:21.6 | It was a whole new reality for me. |
| 0:24.6 | I'm a bad person now. |
| 0:26.6 | I'm no longer a good person like I always thought I was. |
| 0:29.6 | I am now and forever will be a bad human being. |
| 0:32.6 | There's no way around it. |
| 0:33.6 | That's just who you are now. |
| 0:44.4 | From Wondery, I'm Witt Misseldine. |
| 0:47.9 | You're listening to This Is Actually Happening. |
| 0:53.8 | Episode 390. What if your unresolved grief led to a fatal decision? I'm My grandfather is Amish. He's from Apple Creek, Ohio. He ran away from his community when he was 18, |
| 1:31.0 | and eventually met my grandmother, who's Puerto Rican, in Puerto Rico. They had kids all in Puerto Rico, |
| 1:39.1 | brought them all over here. My mom growing up, it was in a strict household because my grandpa being Amish, the girls couldn't do as much as the boys could in the family. |
| 1:50.2 | When my mom was 14, she met my dad. My mom was 14. My dad was 18. They got married. My mom was 18. She had me when she was 20. I'm their first. 18 months later, they had my brother. We were just a little foursome ever since then. When I was younger, would go over to my grandma and grandpa's every Sunday with the aunts, the uncles, the cousins, and we were all very close. I loved my grandparents. They had lots of land and my grandpa, we tried to grow apple trees in Florida. |
| 2:21.2 | But I always thought that was funny because you can't do that. And he was determined as an Amish man from Apple Creek, Ohio. |
| 2:29.2 | My Puerto Rican grandmother was loving. She was the majorarch of the family. She would have |
| 2:35.9 | traditional Puerto Rican food for all our holidays. We would spend weeks leading up making those things, |
| 2:41.3 | the pasteles. That was a huge highlight of my year. She passed that down to my aunt and my mom, |
| 2:47.4 | and we would all just be in the kitchen together cooking. She taught me how to dance, |
| 2:51.8 | a chaka, marangay, all that. My early childhood was amazing. My dad was always there, present. He coached |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Audible, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Audible and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.