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Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

#385: Bobby Kelly's 5 Things I Can't Wait To Do Again

Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

Ari Shaffir

Diaz, Shrooms, Comic, Ari, Duncan, Shafir, Segura, Squad, Chappell, Store, Tomsegura, Rogan, Shaffir, Mushroom, Arishaffir, Sceptic, Skankfest, Freak, Skeptictank, Trussell, Los, Bryant, Cellar, Shroomfest, Joe, Tom, Burr, Bertkreischer, Tank, Comedy, Septic, Freakparty, Arithegreat, Joey, Kreischer, Billburr, Punchdrunk, Skeptic, Legionofskanks, Comedian, Thisisnothappening, Joerogan, Party, Allthingscomedy, Death, Podcast, Deathsquad, Comedy Interviews, Earwolf, Topic, Standup, Kobe

4.66.7K Ratings

🗓️ 11 May 2020

⏱️ 110 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Robert Kelly joins me for the first in a series of podcasts where I'm just gonna do some wishful thinking. Fun podcast with a good friend. It's nothing serious. It's all about the stuff we've been thinking about doing. For now, it's because we can't really do anything. A year from now, it'll probably be about the things in life we've been procrastinating. But this is now. And Bobby goes over all the stuff he's been itching to do. These don't have to be the most important things. These are just some activities that have been bouncing around in his head.

1) Walking Around The Mall

2) Cigar Bars

3) Staring at Girls

4) Hanging Out At Comedy Clubs with Comics

5) Hotel Room on a Saturday Night when the Week is Over

The Music

Sam Cooke - Another Saturday Night

Biz Marquee - Albee Square Mall

Beatles - With A Little Help From My Friends

Mika - Big Girls (You Are Beautiful)

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

There's so funny back when AIDS was at its peak when you thought you had AIDS but you're still banged

0:06.2

You like you like well, I'm not sure

0:12.1

Like you you always get this question. This is what I love girls. Are you are you safe?

0:18.3

Yeah

0:20.5

I'm about to fuck I met you an hour and a half ago

0:24.2

You're gonna let me fuck you without a condom and you're asking me if I'm safe

0:30.0

Everybody sang another sad tonight and I got nobody

0:35.1

I got some money cause I just got paid

0:39.1

Now how I wish I had something more than talk to

0:43.4

I'm in an awful lot more time another sad tonight

0:48.5

And I ain't got nobody I got some money cause I just got paid

0:54.4

Now how I wish I had some chip to talk to

0:59.1

I'm in an awful lot

1:01.1

So everybody welcome to our ish first kept in the episode 385 just 15 or 14 more till Danish and Romeo or for 14 depending on if you count this one or not

1:12.1

so

1:14.1

There's a new segment on

1:17.3

Our ish first kept in the second that's what I'm doing a lot of people want to talk about this fucking shit

1:21.5

That's going on in the world right now. I'd rather not I'd rather fucking ignore that completely

1:25.9

Okay, but Liz and everybody's mind if you read the newspaper which I do now which is fun

1:32.2

You like by the newspaper as opposed to getting your news and your stories from the fucking internet

1:36.3

The internet has an algorithm so they find out what you fucking hate and care about and they guide you just to keep on the same fucking thing

1:43.6

Not the newspaper the newspaper just offers shit to everybody

...

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