384: The Heart of the Solution

Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

Cloud10

Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.5 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 21 April 2023

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

After the negative cycle is de-escalated, couples have the opportunity to create a new positive cycle. When there is safety to take the risk of expressing your longing that lives underneath the protection to your partner, lies the solution to creating a more secure relationship. In this episode Laurie and George, illustrate for listeners the sexual pursuer's longings and how they can share them to their love. You'll want to listen to this episode for these tips: how to get the timing right, the signals that your body gives to expose your fear, what you need from your partner and how to ask for it! Make sure to sign up for our online couples retreat for all things Great Sex and Great Love happening on September 8th. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following content is not suitable for children.
0:02.5	Okay, George, when we finally get to the point where we're not in a negative cycle with our partner about sex,
0:11.0	and we're talking to each other about what we really want and need, and we have a longing that we start to express.
0:18.5	I want to explore that with you, kind of from both the pursuer and with our side.
0:23.0	Let's do it!
0:25.0	Welcome to 4Play Sex Therapy. I'm Dr. Laurie Watts and you're Sex Therapist.
0:31.0	I'm George Valle, you're Couples Therapist.
0:33.0	We are here to talk about sex.
0:35.0	Our mission is to help couples talk about sex in ways that incorporate their body, their mind, and their hearts.
0:43.0	And we have a little bit of fun doing it, right, G?
0:46.0	Listen, and let's change some relationships.
0:49.0	Right, Laurie, this is the heart of the solution here.
0:54.0	The heart of the solution.
0:56.0	I always love it when you say heart.
0:59.0	When we are as a therapist, every session I ever do, I'm reminded of this as the target.
1:05.0	This is ultimately what great couples can do.
1:09.0	This is how couples repair. This is the solution to the negative cycle.
1:13.0	I mean, if you're listening, pay attention to this one.
1:16.0	This is going to be super important.
1:18.0	This is how we create a positive cycle.
1:20.0	Too many therapies, you know, they tell you what the problem is,
1:23.0	but they don't tell you what the solution is.
	...

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