381 SelfWork: How to Talk About Your Depression
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 16 February 2024
⏱️ 23 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I was honored to offer a TEDx talk this past year in Boca Raton, Florida. It's entitled "How to recognize perfectly hidden depression," and in it, I describe clients I've seen who'd never have seemed depressed to anyone around them. Two in particular are featured: one tried to take her life; the other came in well before that happened, but admitted he'd also had thoughts about doing the same. Having thoughts about wishing for the end of your life is much more common than many people realize—and we, as a culture, need to talk about those thoughts with one another much more transparently. Without judgment.
It's also imperative that those with an intent to die by suicide should get the help they desperately need. Yet the distinction between having thoughts about it and having a suicidal plan to carry it out is vital to understand. The first is a conversation; the second requires immediate action by whatever mental health provider or family member is told.
But if you don't feel safe to reveal such thoughts, how are those conversations ever going to happen? And that's what this episode is all about - how to talk about your depression.
The listener email is from a woman in Poland who's choosing to estrange herself from her abusive father; trust is earned not given, and there are certainly times when deciding that having no relationship - or estrangement - is the best way to protect yourself.
If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7, dial 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
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You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Here at self-work we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them. |
| 0:15.8 | Whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment. |
| 0:21.5 | Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you |
| 0:25.0 | who are already very knowledgeable about mental health treatment but also to those of you |
| 0:29.5 | who might say you'd never darken the door of a therapist. |
| 0:33.2 | And yet you are here. |
| 0:35.1 | I'll answer your questions. |
| 0:36.4 | While I invite you to take a few minutes |
| 0:38.7 | for your own self-work. |
| 0:39.9 | But here comes the major point of this episode. This isn't saying that you shouldn't talk |
| 0:50.2 | about your depression but choosing who you talk to and how to do it is very important |
| 0:56.2 | to ensure that you feel understood and accepted rather than judged, ignored, or just told you need to buck up. |
| 1:05.2 | Welcome to this week's edition of Self-Works. |
| 1:09.4 | In this episode, we need to have a trigger warning that we do talk about suicide. I was honored |
| 1:15.8 | to offer a TEDx talk this past year in Boca Raton, Florida. It's entitled |
| 1:20.4 | how to recognize perfectly hidden depression as some of you are regular |
| 1:23.8 | listeners wouldn't be surprised by. And in it, I describe clients I've seen who never |
| 1:28.8 | have seemed depressed to anyone around them. Two in particular are featured. One tried to take her life. The |
| 1:35.4 | other came in well before that happened, but admitted he'd also had thoughts about |
| 1:39.6 | doing the same. Having thoughts about wishing for the end of your life is much more common |
| 1:44.7 | than many people realize, and we as a culture need to talk about those thoughts |
| 1:49.1 | with one another much more transparently without judgment. |
... |
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