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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

38: How Do I Teach My Kids About Consent?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Mental Health, Kids & Family, Health & Fitness, Parenting

4.7824 Ratings

🗓️ 4 May 2021

⏱️ 30 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Talking to kids about their love lives can be uncomfortable, but discussing consent is one of the most important conversations to have with our children. Dr. Lisa explains why she feels that when we focus on consent, we are articulating the lowest possible bar for acceptable physical intimacy. She offers thoughts on how we might rethink and reframe the entire topic in order to be most helpful to our children. Reena asks: Can we change our collective mindset on consent? And how do you explain coercion and consent to children? The conversation includes a look at how pornography factors into teenagers' understanding of consensual relationships. BOOK GIVEAWAY: One copy each of Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex by Peggy Orenstein Enter to win one of 2 books being given away by @asklisapodcast. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn) 3. Enter as many times as you'd like 4. For U.S. residents only (Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 5/10/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.) OTHER RESOURCES: Lisa's articles from the NYT: Talking With Both Daughters and Sons About Sex (1/11/17) Getting ‘Consent’ for Sex Is Too Low a Bar (7/18/18) Why Teenagers Mix Drinking and Sex (11/14/18) See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Transcript

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0:00.0

This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting, now in the midst of a pandemic.

0:12.2

Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.

0:19.7

And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.

0:23.7

Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves. Most of the time, I'll be

0:28.3

getting answers to your parenting questions. So send your questions to Ask Lisa at

0:33.5

Dr.Lisademore.com. Episode 38. How do I teach my kids about consent?

0:45.1

So it's so exciting to see teenagers that are able to get vaccinated.

0:49.6

I kind of feel like it's going to be the summer of love for everybody.

0:52.5

You do feel that, right?

0:53.9

That these teenagers have been so hemmed in.

0:56.7

And finally, we are able to safely let them roam as they should.

1:02.1

But yeah, I mean, if I were a teenager, I'd be like, man, I have some lost time to make up for it.

1:08.0

Can't blame them.

1:08.8

Really can't blame them.

1:09.7

It's been hard for everyone.

1:11.7

We got an incredible letter from a mom in Australia talking about consent, which made me think about all these

1:17.5

conversations we need to be having as we're emerging out of this. Right. And that we can finally

1:22.1

have conversations about normal development again in a different kind of way. So right, Lisa.

1:27.5

So she writes here, Dear Lisa, I'm a huge fan of your podcast.

1:30.8

Thank you for your wisdom and valuable parenting tips.

1:33.7

My question is a big one.

1:35.0

How do we teach our kids about consent when it comes to teen relationships?

...

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