375. The psychology of friendship trios
The Psychology of your 20s
iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 15 January 2026
⏱️ 41 minutes
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Summary
Navigating friendship in your 20s is already complicated – so what happens when we add a third person into the mix? The group chat might be buzzing, there’s always someone to talk to, and belonging to a group of three can feel like a safe space. But what happens when two start getting closer, plans are made without you, or you’re constantly wondering if you’re the extra one?
In today’s episode, we unpack the psychology of friendship trios - why they feel so special, when they can hurt, and how to tell the difference between a rough patch and a dynamic that’s genuinely not good for you.
We explore:
• The beauty of a friendship trio
• Friendship dyads vs triads
• The role of Simmelian ties
• When imbalances start to show (alliances, jealousy and feeling like the ‘third wheel’)
• What healthy trio dynamics actually look like (and how to achieve it)
• Hot to know when it’s time to step back
If you’re navigating this nuanced aspect of friendship, this episode is for you.
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The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. |
| 0:02.5 | Guaranteed human. |
| 0:08.5 | Hello everybody. |
| 0:10.0 | I'm Jemma Spike and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we talk |
| 0:15.4 | through the biggest changes, moments and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology. |
| 0:28.3 | Hello everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. It is so great |
| 0:34.2 | to have you here back for another episode as we of of course, break down the psychology of our 20s. |
| 0:41.1 | Sometimes we have these episodes where I just go, I cannot believe we have never spoken about this before. |
| 0:49.1 | We are like 300, maybe even 400 episodes in. |
| 0:52.2 | And we have never spoken about this topic. Today, we're going to talk |
| 0:56.0 | about friendship trios. We know from like countless studies and even so many episodes that we've done |
| 1:04.3 | just how important our friends are, not just for our mental health, but for our physical |
| 1:09.7 | longevity even. But what kind of |
| 1:13.1 | happens, what changes when it's not just you and another best friend? And it's not a huge |
| 1:18.6 | friendship group either. It's like this weird middle ground, three people, the trio. That can get, |
| 1:26.9 | and I know we've seen examples of this, like really complicated, |
| 1:30.3 | not just because friendships are in themselves complicated, but because of this unique |
| 1:35.9 | platonic triangle dynamic. It can be a beautiful one. You know, you get to call two people your best friend. It can also get really, really messy. |
| 1:48.4 | One person always kind of made me feel slightly left behind or distant or like the spare. |
| 1:56.9 | There are moments of jealousy and resentment. And I guess it's really easy to see why. It's not just |
| 2:05.3 | two people navigating and bouncing their emotions between each other. Suddenly it's like almost a bit |
| 2:12.7 | of a project to keep three different bonds going at once plus the entire friendship of the three of you |
... |
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