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The Connected Life

372: The Fantasy of Fixing People Pt. 3

The Connected Life

Justin Stumvoll

Health & Fitness, Christianity, Mental Health, Religion & Spirituality

4.92.6K Ratings

🗓️ 16 February 2026

⏱️ 65 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Most of us don't set out to control people—we think we're helping. We say it's love, protection, or just wanting the best. But underneath, codependency often looks like playing God, trying to save others from pain so we don't have to feel it ourselves.

In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the subtle ways control sneaks into relationships: when someone else's choices feel like a reflection on us, when regret from our past makes us overprotective, or when fear of future consequences drives us to intervene. Through honest stories about friends, family, and faith, they unpack why pain is sometimes the very teacher people need, and how trust, boundaries, and invitation create space for real growth.

If you've ever exhausted yourself fixing others or confused control for love, this conversation will help you release the weight and find freedom in letting people be fully themselves.

You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife

Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Life isn't perfect, and neither are we.

0:05.6

No, but we know how to face our fears and have some fun.

0:09.7

And talk about all the messiest things of life.

0:13.0

Like the messiest things.

0:15.0

Get connected to yourself, get connected to others, and get connected to the life right in front of you.

0:21.6

This is the connected life with Justin and Abby.

0:24.6

That's me.

0:25.5

That's you.

0:26.5

And you.

0:27.6

I want to kick off this podcast by giving you a little bit of praise.

0:31.4

Ooh.

0:32.4

Yeah.

0:33.3

I was thinking about the podcast we're about to do.

0:35.0

And I wanted to say that if there was an Olympics at this, you'd have a gold medal.

0:40.7

Okay.

0:41.5

So we're going to get into a subject today that Abby is like an Olympian at.

0:49.0

You know what?

0:49.9

I would try to deny it, but it's just true.

0:52.0

I am an expert.

0:52.9

We are going to talk about codependency today.

0:56.0

Codependency and playing God.

0:59.4

And I definitely recovering codependent here.

...

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