369-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.7 • 23.4K Ratings

🗓️ 9 November 2016

⏱️ 96 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Even babies know the truth - Bert IS fat, but also our dear friend Burnt Chrystals has a new special coming to Showtime called The Machine and he goes by the name Bert Kreischer in it. Plus Tommy and Tina watched the movie, Shark Bites - you might like but it has one BIG flaw (same as the Martian with Matt Damon). There's a really white DJ who really feels comfortable with BIG WORDS and all kinds of accents to master in this one. Who is the Water Champ? Now we can all be with the NEW Water Champ shirt! Get one for Christmas or just to show everyone who H2Flow is in your house. Keep those jeans up!

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is a narcissist. I love it. In you window. Thank you. We're trying to say something.
0:19.6	I think so. We still appreciate the instrumental. Marcy's cyst. I'll be in Luzville, Kentucky. Luz
0:29.9	Lucyville? Lucyville. Luz pussyville? Hey. Hey now. Hey. Who came up with it? It's really good work.
0:37.3	It's a good one. Luz pussy. Yo, I heard the clubs closing. No. The laughing derby. Apparently they lost
0:43.5	their liquor license. Well that's really important for a coffee. But guess what? My shows are still
0:47.9	going to go on. I might get the last comic ever that's played there. That's crazy. Get it
0:53.4	straight now. Well then that's a pretty monumental monumentus thing and you guys should come out and
0:58.4	see Tom did the last week ever. And then Luzville. Come out and see it. So I'll be there man.
1:04.8	Home of Muhammad Ali. Let's see. Then I go to Philharve Delphiah finally for those four
1:11.6	Trockadero shows. It's got a hundred tickets left. Oh, and one show with tickets left. Then the
1:19.7	I go to you know where I'm going basically home. West Balm's Beach. West Balm Beach. West
1:24.9	Harry Ball's Beach. Yeah. Florida. That is the hip-hop there. I'm doing two nights only. Four
1:30.3	shows. That's it. That's the best. I love West Harry Palm. Me too. I love that. I like that.
1:35.4	Like that. Yeah. Oh, bang bang. So I'm really excited to go back to West
1:42.8	all Harry Ball's Beach. Then I'm doing New Year's in Mom Lando.
1:48.1	Jew years. Junior's Eve. And then if you would go to TomSagura.com, click on the tour page and you
1:55.6	can see my 2017 tour laid out. It starts. It's a maze. It's a maze. It starts in Kansas City.
2:02.4	Then I'm doing an Oxnard date. So I'm doing a local week. And then shortly thereafter the
2:09.8	theaters start. So great. I'm starting in New Orleans. New Orleans. New Orleans at Lanna.
2:17.7	And Clearwater, Florida. And Tallahassee. That's my first weekend.
2:21.7	Farat Lanna. Yeah. And then. Clearfarter. Clearfarter, Florida. Yeah. What's Tallahassee?
2:28.8	Oh God. I don't know. Tallahassee. That's good. Yeah. Look at you.
	...

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