The following presentation was part of the why I stay session of the 2012 Salt Lake City

Sunstone Symposium held on July 28th.

First, I want to acknowledge three of my fellow panelists, Phil, Rhonda, and Carolyn.

Thank you for your friendship and mentoring over the years.

Your influence has meant more to me than you know.

I also want to thank Toby, Mary Ellen, Stephen, Michael, and everyone else at Sunstone for

keeping this fabulously historic institution alive.

And for all of you who are here supporting Sunstone this weekend, I am deeply honored

to be here today.

Before I answer the question, why is today, I think it would be most appropriate to first

address the question, am I still here?

My answer would be yes, with a few significant asterisks.

Before I list these asterisks, I want you to know that I haven't drawn any final conclusions,

instead they represent how I'm feeling today.

I expect they could change tomorrow or next year.

I'm learning to become more comfortable with having asterisks in my life, and less comfortable

with having definitive conclusions.

Asterisk number one, God.

Throughout my Mormon adulthood, I've discovered that the Judeo-Christian Mormon God that was

taught to me in seminary.

The God that required Isaac's sacrifice of Abraham as a test, and cursed Job for sport,

the God that would send his son to die instead of facing the suffering himself, the God that

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