356. How to survive a breakup in your 20s
The Psychology of your 20s
iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 21 November 2025
⏱️ 46 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Going through a breakup is always going to be devastating. Heartbreak is one of the most gut-wrenching human experiences: it affects our brain, our body, our routines, our identity, and our sense of the future. Why does it hurt so much, and how do we actually get through it?
In this episode, we break down the psychology of surviving a breakup: the science, the emotions, and the practical tools that help you heal, find clarity, and eventually believe in love again.
We explore:
- The story of my TWO big breakups
- Why heartbreak activates the same neural pathways as physical pain
- The three psychological “waves” of a breakup and what to expect in each
- Why “what ifs,” longing and mind-pops keep us stuck
- How to support your healing with five research-backed strategies
- The psychology of rebounds, moving on, and knowing when you’re ready to date again
If you’re feeling lost, devastated, or convinced you’ll never love again, this episode will help you understand your pain, soften it, and slowly rebuild your sense of self.
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. |
| 0:02.3 | Guaranteed Human. |
| 0:08.4 | Hello everybody. |
| 0:09.9 | I'm Jemma Spake and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we talk |
| 0:15.3 | through the biggest changes, moments and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology. |
| 0:26.9 | Hello everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, |
| 0:32.2 | old listeners, wherever you are in the world. It is so great to have you here back for another |
| 0:36.5 | episode as we of course |
| 0:37.9 | break down the psychology of your 20s. Today, I want to talk about heartbreak. I want to talk |
| 0:45.9 | about why it is so hard, but it also give you kind of a guide based on psychology and my experience on how to get over it. |
| 0:57.5 | Maybe that's not even the best way to say it. |
| 1:00.1 | How to get through it. |
| 1:01.7 | How to process the loss. |
| 1:04.0 | How to still feel strong enough to believe in love. |
| 1:08.4 | How to find love again. |
| 1:10.6 | I want to begin by telling you all the story of |
| 1:14.2 | my worst breakup. And when I say breakup, I should actually say breakups as in plural. In 2021, |
| 1:22.8 | I went through two breakups in one year, one with a person that I was in a long-term relationship |
| 1:29.5 | with, a serious relationship with, and another with someone, you know, and the relationship |
| 1:34.2 | was a lot less serious, but someone who I deeply cared for, and I can admit to myself now, |
| 1:40.3 | like definitely loved very, very much. Let me describe kind of like the circumstances of |
| 1:46.4 | the two in one year breakup situation of the very tragic year that happened to me. I had been |
... |
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