#355: Methistopheles (@JessaReedComedy)

Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

Ari Shaffir

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4.6 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 8 May 2019

⏱️ 171 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jessa Reed came over to my old apartment (I think this is the last one from the old place) to tell me about her junkie past. She was a serious meth head. I mean for real. Like, drink your own piss meth. Like, lose your daughter meth. I love hearing about drugs and Jessa did a lot of meth so this one was perfect.

Transcript

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0:00.0	and I asked him for a line of white and the bartender and the manager took me back
0:06.2	and they pulled out this mirror because they do a lot of it and it wasn't white,
0:09.6	it wasn't quite white back then it was crank so it was this powdery stuff and it was these big four
0:15.3	rails and for huge and for whatever reason I was just trying to show off and so I did a whole one
0:20.7	even though that's not what I would normally do for this and then when I sat back they were looking
0:25.0	at me like you might die now and then like 10 seconds later the back of my head felt like
0:30.8	it had a blowtorch on it and I was like oh my god what and the pain lasted for almost a minute
0:38.3	and then they were like that was way too much for you to do and then I was like what even was that
0:43.6	and then they were like crank and then I just after that it was the best thing I'd ever done.
0:55.0	So I'm going to go to sleep, it's going to rack until you're out of the job,
0:59.6	it's going to rack until you're out on the street, it's going to rack until you're found on your knees,
1:07.8	it's going to let you beg and pray and pray, it's going to rack you like a hurricane,
1:15.5	met them fed me.
1:30.0	Good evening ladies and gentlemen welcome to R.E. Shafir Skepte Tank episode 355
1:36.7	on today's episode it's a drug episode who is a leverjucker? These are the first words that come
1:42.0	out of mouth today. Can you tell? I was sleeping and then I was not sleeping and then I started up
1:49.1	this podcast recorder and then I was talking. I think I'm sound pretty good for first thing in the
1:55.7	morning. Matthew guys, who doesn't love met only people who haven't tried it? It's one of the
2:02.6	world's wonder drugs, it cures everything from sleeping to not scratching all your ails will be
2:11.1	killed with methamphetamines. So today, okay, Jessal Reed is a comedian, she was on this and that
2:17.6	happening last year. One of the best stories by the way, first I mean for sure, I don't want to say
2:23.0	best, there's no way it's not top 10, it's probably top five to me. I'll link to it on
	...

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