35 – Post-Disco Panic
Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
Jay Edidin & Miles Stokes
4.7 • 1.9K Ratings
🗓️ 15 December 2014
⏱️ 51 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In which literally every character in Dazzler: The Movie is the absolute worst; Beauty and the Beast is secretly kind of awesome; Ann Nocenti is an editorial war-bard; Rachel issues a hat-related retraction; and we would read the hell out of Tales from the Heartbreak Hotel.
X-Plained:
- The many mutations of Hank McCoy
- Alison Blaire
- Dazzler: The Movie
- Dazzler’s corporate origins
- The original plans for the actual unmade Dazzler movie
- Severely off-model Storm
- Ziggy the Butler
- Several frankly horrifying courtships
- Roman Nekoboh
- Eric Beale
- Beauty and the Beast (but not that one)
- The correct way to open a miniseries
- Ann Nocenti
- Alexander Flynn
- The importance of voice in writing Beast
- Max Rocker
- The Heartbreak Hotel (but not that one) and its residents
- Nocenti narration
- Some really dubious underground theater
- The worst hat
- What Dazzler’s been up to lately
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey Rachel, I've got a beast question. Fire away, Miles. Is his furry beast form part of his mutation, |
| 0:04.9 | or is it an artificial thing? Which one? That's what I'm asking. No, no, I mean, which furry beast form? |
| 0:10.2 | Well, the first one was a result of a serum he was trying to use to suppress his powers, right? |
| 0:14.0 | What? No, no, the first one was deliberate. |
| 0:17.0 | He'd been working as a researcher for the Brand Corporation. |
| 0:19.0 | Wait, wait, wait, brand corporation? Any relationship to Abigail Brand? |
| 0:22.0 | Nope. |
| 0:23.0 | Anyway, in Amazing Adventures Number 11, Beast initially mutated himself into the furry form as a disguise |
| 0:28.0 | so he could find out what his evil lab partner was up to without adding himself as the beast, but then he couldn't change back. |
| 0:32.8 | And that's how he turned blue and furry. |
| 0:34.3 | Well, gray and furry. The blue happened on its own a few days later, presumably when someone at |
| 0:38.0 | Marvel realized that Grey Beast was fucking terrifying. |
| 0:40.4 | Thus dark beast being Gray. Exactly. |
| 0:43.0 | But he did change back, didn't he? |
| 0:44.0 | During X Factor. |
| 0:45.0 | Temporarily, he was kidnapped by the same evil former lab partner, Carl Maddox, who by then was trying to |
| 0:49.4 | find a cure for his own son's mutation. |
| 0:51.3 | His kid, that would be Arty, right? Yeah, and Maddox didn't manage to cure Arty, but he did revert Beast back to his original more human appearance, which he kept until an unfortunate run-in with a supervillain named Infectia. That was when he started losing his intellect every time he used a strength. |
| 1:03.0 | No, that was after a run-in with pestilence, the horseman of apocalypse. |
| 1:06.0 | Anyway, whatever infection did turned him back to the bouncing blue beast we've come to know and love. |
| 1:10.0 | Until Morrison turned him into a cat. |
| 1:12.0 | Right. Which was a cat. Right. |
... |
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