34 – Mordenkainen’s Marvelous Mutants
Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
Jay Edidin & Miles Stokes
4.7 • 1.9K Ratings
🗓️ 8 December 2014
⏱️ 53 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary

In which we venture forth into an age undreamed of, there are so many reasons to have Northstar on your team, Selene is the worst guest, Rachel X-Plains Conan, Cyttorak is the Mordenkainen of the Marvel Universe, Miles loves Doctor Strange, we have some fairly serious Captain America feelings, the X-Men completely fail at hide-and-seek, and we make more D&D references in one episode than in the previous 34 combined.
X-Plained
- Northstar
- Beard privilege
- X-Men 189-192
- Anachronistic timeline markers
- Hounds
- The Culture Shock Class
- An Age Undreamed of
- Conan disambiguation
- Red Sonja vs. Red Sonya
- Kulan Gath
- Marvel Team-Up #79
- Barbarian Avengers
- Why we love Captain America
- Several haircuts
- WiFi sorcery
- A really good inspirational speech
- The inevitable cephalopod revolution
- Why Hank Pym is the absolute worst
- Claudication
- Hide-and-seek
- How Rachel Summers actually traveled back in time
- Magus
- Warlock, Adam Warlock, and their respective Magi
- Politics, religion, and Nightcrawler
Edited to Add: In this episode, we answered a question from a listener looking for textual evidence that Nightcrawler isn’t homophobic (we pointed them to Amazing X-Men #13). We also discussed that question from a different angle–and at considerably more length–on the blog.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey Rachel, why is North Star an amazing X-Men? |
| 0:02.2 | I don't know, because he's a flying super-strong speedster? |
| 0:05.1 | Perhaps for his delightful sass adorable pointy ears and powerful energy blasts? |
| 0:08.8 | I mean, dude, there are so many reasons to have North Star on your team. |
| 0:11.6 | No, no, no, no, I know that, but I mean, wasn't he dead or evil? |
| 0:15.7 | Oh yeah, both actually. |
| 0:17.0 | Simultaneously? |
| 0:18.1 | Sequentially, Hydra knabs his body and revived him. |
| 0:20.4 | Why? |
| 0:21.3 | Who knows? |
| 0:22.3 | It's Hydra dude. Anyway, after that he got brainwashed a couple times, first into leading this weird mutant death cult and then into joining up with the Children of the Vault. The Children of the Vault. Yeah, they're a little like the Neo, a non-mutant super-powered offshoot of homo sapiens, except the children of the vault evolved in a time-accelerated hold of a ship. |
| 0:36.5 | I also just get the impression that North Star doesn't want to be a superhero. |
| 0:40.0 | He's quit more times than Sunfire. |
| 0:42.0 | To ski, to write books, to run his business I know right not to mention that one time he moved to the Norse realm of alfheim for like three years |
| 0:48.3 | Wait why did he do that? Well, look he convinced me he was a half-elph. What? |
| 0:52.6 | Hi, I'm Rachel Eddidin. |
| 0:54.0 | And I'm Milsto. |
| 0:57.0 | Hi, I'm Rachel Eddenden. |
| 1:04.4 | And I'm Miles Stokes. |
| 1:05.4 | And we are here to explain the X-Men. |
| 1:07.9 | Because it's about time someone did. |
| 1:09.7 | Welcome to the 34th episode of Rachel and Miles Explain the X-Men, we walk you through the ins, outs and ret cons of our favorite superhero soap opera. |
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