Well, I see you got them snakes and sparklers, but there's good stuff, man. Good stuff.

This is the good stuff. Snakes and sparklers. Are you nuts, dude? You need stuff to explode? Go boom.

Why is that good?

So you're gonna tell me that you don't have no black cats, no Roman candles or screaming memes?

No. Oh, come on, man. You don't got no lady fingers, buzzbuttles, sneaker bombs, church burners, gut busters,

zippity-doodies or crap flappers? No, I don't.

You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes,

no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honky lighters, who's scardous, who's scardones,

cherry bombs, nips and daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?

No. Snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like.

T-B-T-L!

Oh, my hot dogs, you have for lunch.

Three.

Well, there's your problem. You're starving. Your body's literally eating itself.

You have to be it, so we don't see it. You have to live it, or we won't forgive it.

You have to inhabit it, or leave it in the cabinet.

It's a P-A-R-T-Y, because I said so.

Hey, everybody stand by. Here we go again.

Well, hello there, good afternoon, and welcome to a Monday edition of T-B-T-L.

And BOOM goes the dynamite.

The show that just might be too beautiful to live. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

You paint your ball spot?

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