And I'm going to take T and take a sip of it and spit it into each and every one of your mouths.

A little burn me, but it'll burn you twice. Burn me once with T, shame on me.

Burn you twice in your own mouth, shame on everybody involved.

T-B-T-L!

Well, well, here we are.

I want to congratulate you for being on time.

I'm not handling this well. I don't feel competent. I'm depressed.

I'm just trying to figure out why you would do this, why anyone would do this.

The reason anyone would do this, if they could, which they can't, would be because they could, which they can't.

Laughter, a sure sign of a good time.

And now I'm going to fill this silence with the words I'm saying right now.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everybody to a Thursday edition of T-B-T-L.

The show that just might be too beautiful to live.

It's the story of a man with a brothel of a home and a pool filled with human excrement.

My name is Luke Furbank, I am your host.

I don't know who that is, and I don't care to find out.

Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center, high in the sky above Portland, Oregon,

we're looking like some very moisture, I'm sorry, I used that word so early in the show.

Some very rain-filled clouds are kind of collecting over the Burnside Bridge area of Portland, Oregon.

So it looks like we're going to get some rain today.

That's okay, because we're indoors and ready to go with episode 3,442 in a collector series.

Let the fun begin.

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