344: When Things Feel Heavy and Overwhelming

Vibrant Happy Women

Jen Riday

Self-improvement, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Education

4.8 • 671 Ratings

🗓️ 15 March 2023

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Positive thinking has its merits, but sometimes when life feels heavy and overwhelming, it is even more powerful to know how to regulate your nervous system. In this episode Jen describes:

Where she has been since November
What the three main nervous system states are (and which one has been Jen's baseline state)
How to release stress, overwhelm, and anxiety through somatic practices
Why we can't get out of a freeze/shutdown/depression response through stress regulation strategies (and what we need to do instead)
and much more!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, I'm Jen Ridey, and this is the Vibran's Happy Women podcast. I'll be talking today about trauma and nervous system regulation, specifically how it's working in my life. Stay tuned.
0:14.7	Are you ready to expand your soul's capacity for joy? Then this podcast is for you. I'm Dr. Jen Rideh, and welcome to
0:24.8	Vibran's happy women. Hey, my friends, I'm back. I know in November I said I was back,
0:31.1	but I'll be honest, my family life has felt very heavy lately. I married my husband 24 years ago, and immediately upon
0:41.8	being married, we quickly discovered things were not a great match. We fought a lot. I spent so much
0:50.9	time in kind of fight or flight, which is the nervous system state when our
0:55.3	hearts race, our breath gets shallow. We perceive that we're in danger. Emotional danger shifts
1:00.9	us to fight or flight. Fast forward all these years later with six kids. I now know my husband has
1:10.7	autism. I now know that husband has autism.
1:11.8	I now know that he has a trauma history that made and has made his emotions feel unsafe for him.
1:19.4	Me, with my anxious attachment, always wanting reassurance of love early on in our marriage,
1:25.8	I perceived his desire to stay detached as a threat.
1:31.4	Why doesn't he show me he loves me? Why doesn't he show me he cares about my feelings?
1:35.8	Our kids slowly were born into this, probably experienced more fight or flight from our fighting
1:42.7	than they should have. It's just interesting. Patterns are
1:46.9	passed on. Well, luckily, I started going to yoga. I started going to therapy. I became a
1:53.0	life coach. I learned tons and tons and tons of skills about what is actually happening in the
1:58.4	brain and in the body when we're under chronic stress and in
2:03.0	continuous or near continuous fight or flight, it's not great, right?
2:08.2	I have slowly over time learned how to shift between those states from fight or flight back
2:13.9	to safe and social and also how to shift from the freeze and shutdown response
2:20.3	back through fight or flight to safe and social. And I'm going to talk about all of that today.
	...

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