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The Gabby Reece Show

#343 Secure Attachment & Health: Psychology Facts with Adam Lane Smith

The Gabby Reece Show

Dear Media

Nutrition, Wellness, Performance, Fitness, Health, 197246, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 954 Ratings

🗓️ 29 September 2025

⏱️ 98 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Attachment Theory Expert Adam Lane Smith joins Gabby Reese to dive deep into Anxious & Avoidant Attachment and the neuroscience of secure relationships. Learn how to heal your nervous system and unlock true monogamy through co-solving life's challenges.


Adam Lane Smith reveals the hidden science that governs our bonds, explaining how our nervous systems are "fried" by modern life and how attachment science is the future of human connection. Discover the chemical keys to lasting partnership, including the vital role of vasopressin, the hormone released when couples overcome stress and solve problems as a team.
Gabby and Adam discuss:

  • How to understand and shift your personal attachment style (Anxious, Avoidant, Disorganized) to secure.
  • The difference between oxytocin and vasopressin and how to naturally increase your bonding hormones.
  • Gabby’s personal story of almost divorcing Laird Hamilton and the pivotal shift that transformed her marriage through honest, brave communication.
  • The biological imperative of a "safe perimeter" and the dynamic of healthy masculinity and femininity.
  • Why the greatest form of resilience for a child is a secure family they can always return to.
  • How relationships can become your "medicine" and your greatest tool for a regulated nervous system and a resilient life.

Connect with Adam Lane Smith:
https://adamlanesmith.com/
https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam

For more on Gabby

Thank You to Our Sponsors

  • The Reecet - Join Gabby Reece for a transformative women’s retreat designed to simplify and reframe what it means to be healthy. Learn more at https://amphora.la/thereecet
  • Laird Superfood - High-quality ingredients paired with incredible taste. Use the code GABBY20 for 20% off your purchase at http://lairdsuperfood.com

CHAPTERS

  • 00:00 Intro: Fried Nervous Systems & Attachment
  • 03:55 The Monogamy Hormone: Vasopressin
  • 07:14 Gabby's Story: Almost Divorcing
  • 14:19 Secure Parenting: Safe Perimeter
  • 19:30 The 4 Layers of Male Safety
  • 30:00 Re-Parenting & Going Secure
  • 36:10 Masculine and Feminine Roles
  • 45:10 Adam Lane Smith's Path
  • 53:20 Effeminate Men vs. Feminine
  • 59:15 The Cost of Non-Commitment
  • 08:45 How to Heal Anxious Men
  • 01:13:50 Conflict Builds Strong Bonds
  • 01:21:10 Anxious Attachment Needs Solving
  • 01:32:00 3 Steps to Secure Attachment

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

We've made life convenient, but that doesn't make it easy on our nervous system.

0:04.1

I think our nervous systems have never been as fried as they are right now.

0:07.1

Your work has been in attachment theory, and you have done a lot of talking about even masculinity

0:14.4

and femininity and things like that, but you're sort of pulling all of this together and having a

0:20.2

bigger conversation.

0:21.6

People are so afraid of actually trusting each other and building an arrangement that lasts.

0:29.1

And they are so fixated on their nervous systems.

0:31.6

Attachment science, I think, is going to be the future of relationships.

0:34.8

And I'm betting my whole life on it.

0:36.0

A, with a focus in attachment style, relationships, and resilience, he explores timely terms

0:42.6

like anxious and avoid an attachment through a human lens, allowing himself, his clients,

0:47.8

and his hundreds of thousands of followers to look both inward and outward to improve the

0:52.8

relationships in their lives.

0:54.4

I know something we're all looking for, including the one, most importantly, they have with

0:59.0

themselves. He's taught me so much about the dynamics in my own life and really got me to think

1:04.2

about it. And I know that he's going to do the same for you. Please welcome love and relationship

1:09.4

coach, Adam Lane Smith. Hi, everyone. Today's

1:12.9

episode is brought to you by The Reset. You'll appreciate its original title. I'm really excited about

1:18.6

this one because it's something I'm personally hosting. The Reset is a women's wellness retreat

1:22.8

taking place here in L.A. And it's from January 23rd to the 25th. It's open to just 30 guests. We've created

1:30.6

the reset to help women navigate the complex world of wellness, providing a playbook to the best

1:35.7

that we can that is informed, simple and actionable, most importantly. Over three days,

...

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